pentagon
For the fifth time since October, an innocent military facility in Virginia has been savagely shot by some armed weirdo. The shooter is probably a former Marine and current nutcase, according to FBI agent Clarice Starling. And this time, the victim was a Coast Guard recruiting office in Woodbridge, Va. The same gunman probably shot [...]
Are you headed to Washington for the big comedy rally we are having in lieu of possessing any grand ambition, moral beliefs or personal dignity? Hooray, hope you like Sheryl Crow a lot! Also: Hope you don’t get shot by the armed & dangerous lunatic firing on anything he thinks is a U.S. Marine or [...]
The world’s primary buyer and user of weaponry was itself attacked by a weapon today, when two shots were tragically fired at the terrible war building, by somebody somewhere (the woods?). According to Reuters, “there were no injuries or significant damage,” which marks the first time the Pentagon has been involved in anything that didn’t [...]
Here’s America’s beloved first lady Michelle Obama, who is apparently so popular that she was slammed by both the Drudge Report and shameless convention-center clown Sarah Palin within the same 24 hour period. So what’s she telling this Army Man/”Naval lieutenant commander,” how to vote in November if he doesn’t want to be transferred to [...]
Hooray, the Capitol is finally being destroyed by some American Army Brigade!
Everyone knows that the ’60s are hipper than ever! But allegedly, some overachieving members of the 5th Stryker Combat Brigade, of the 2nd Infantry Division, weren’t content to have a Mad Men-themed costume party. No, it got real My Lai-licious over in the Afghanistan, at least according to evidence and testimony presented at a military [...]
Happy 9/11 airspace, everybody. And remember that if we don’t fight them (our own robot drone bomb-droppin’ planes) over there, we will surely have to shoot them down over DC, eventually, when they come back home to find “Mother.” The AP reports today: WASHINGTON — The U.S. military almost launched fighter jets and discussed a [...]
“The business of America is business” said Calvin Coolidge, America’s greatest president; the obvious implication is that the business of America’s enemies, the Foreigns, is using their eight weeks of vacation to sit around in romantic cafes, smoking and discussing their latest extramarital affairs with rueful detachment. That’s why it’s particularly disheartening to learn that [...]
Traffic stops will continue unabated in the not-so-great state of Tennessee, as Basil Marceaux incomprehensibly goes down in defeat in his race for the GOP gubernatorial nomination! The only consolation is that secessionist Zach Wamp and Lt. Gov. Ron “Islam is a cult” Ramsey lost as well. The winner was Knoxville Mayor Bill Haslam, who [...]
If, like confused old ass-clown Richard Cohen at the Washington Post, you’ve never heard of the “WikiLeaks” or the “Internet,” this year’s biggest news story maybe didn’t really hit home. And if there’s a natural constituency of confused old ass-clowns outside the Washington Post‘s op-ed page, it’s the U.S. Capitol. That’s why the House decided [...]
We can all agree that we should cut down the deficit, right? And most rational people believe that the way to do this is to go through the budget line by line and remove wasteful liberal spending like taking kids to amusement parks that consume literally fractions of pennies out of each precious tax dollar! [...]
What’s a great way to relax at work after a tough morning of approving new torture techniques or Predator-drone bombings of weddings and hospitals in Lower Povertystan? If you’re one of the U.S. government employees and contractors of the Pentagon and its myriad criminal spy operations, “coffee break” means kicking back with some child pornography, [...]
