• February 13, 2012

pettiness

I JUST CALLED TO SAY I HATE YOU

Congress, Apparently Having Just Started College, Was Really Into Jazz For Like Three Weeks

by Juli Weiner

12:47 pm September 2, 2009

When you, the constituent, called your local congressperson and were subsequently put on hold sometime in the last three weeks, did you notice anything… offensive? Something syncopated? Something Satan might have on his iPod, in case an attractive woman were to ever browse through said iPod? This is called “jazz” and henceforth it is banned—BANNED—from [...]

SO SAD

Somehow John McCain Is Basically Tied With Barack Obama

by Jim Newell

2:01 pm July 24, 2008

For Christ’s sake, Walnuts, you’re making it too easy: “He tells reporters in a Columbus, Ohio German restaurant he’d love to give a speech in Germany. ‘But I’d much prefer to do it as president of the United States rather than as a candidate for president.’” Maybe he could’ve DONE ANYTHING ELSE besides this, during [...]