poetry
A bunch of decrepit rednecks fantasizing about mass murder is a common enough occurrence in North Georgia (your Wonkette bookman knows this from lifelong experience). What’s different about the alleged plot by this AARP IRA is that they had the misfortune to run into an FBI informant who actually challenged them to put their brain-damaged [...]
Are you a small business owner looking (now that our economy is in Recovery) to hire an actual destroyer of human beings for your growing Torture of Humans business? In today’s competitive atrocity market, run-of-the-mill teenage terrorists with their scrotum-fuses and YouTube videos probably won’t get the job done (though they are notoriously cheap workers). [...]
We realize that today is 9/11 Eve, and you are planning on spending your evening with friends and family in merriment. Sadly, this has become such a commercialized holiday, and it’s important to remember the little things that make 9/11 so special. The true meaning of 9/11 is that it handed George W. Bush a [...]
We have infiltrated TeamSarah.org, the Internet’s top repository of Sarah Palin crap, and boy oh boy is it majestic. There are 35,000 blog posts to be written about what is in this thing. But we have to start somewhere. So how about presenting you with some of the site’s very best Sarah Palin poetry, which [...]
Once upon a time in America, there lived a peanut farmer and known Georgian named James Earl Carter. He became world-famous because he was the first American to parlay his goober habit into several other glamorous careers. And we do mean several; this man has changed identities more times than, uh … who’s popular these [...]
Watch maudlin narcissist Roland Burris read a “health care-themed” iteration of “Twas the Night Before Christmas” on the Senate floor. “We’ll clog up the Senate, they cried with a grin/And in the midterm elections, we’ll get voted in!” Chilling. Roland Burris will take two copies in his ark to the River Styx. [YouTube]
Al Gore wrote a very earnest poem, which is the #1 thing you can do to not get made fun of, in any context. Apparently for whatever reason the publisher of his new book would not let him write in prose about the effects of our planet destroying itself and thought that this, the poem, [...]
In the ninth circle of Hell, just between the usurers and the winged demon Satan flapping his wings in that frozen pond, lies a self-important little coffee house full of nerds who vote on each other’s poetry, which is universally awful. The Obamas will bring a slice of this Hell to their own home tonight, [...]
