• February 13, 2012

polls

Wow, things out there are really bleak. Just how dismal is the economy? According to some poll CNN has apparently been conducting since 1997, most people in this country are pretty sure that everything is terrible, nothing will ever get better, and America is doomed to forever be varying degrees of “poor.” In all, 59 [...]

An audience of 3 million is enough to keep a terrible show on television for many years or encourage a horror writer to publish literally anything he types, including fever dreams about his own mustache, and it’s also how many people in America apparently believe that Mitt Romney is Muslim. That’s the shocking results of [...]

Whatever God is up to these days — forwarding spam emails to the Pope, watching Sex and the City reruns, filling up NFL fan message boards with gripes about the players’ lockout under His “RickPerryIsAGoon” handle — only earns Him the job approval stamp from 52% of Americans. That is not so bad for a [...]

If you live in Ohio and have a poor sense of direction, you should not bother voting now. Ohio has decided that directing confused people to the correct polls is a terrible hassle, and could result in more votes that need to be counted, which is a chore! Apparently it “is the duty of the [...]

Despite everybody being all “eh” on Barack Obama, he’s still got an approval rating in the middle 40s, which is probably enough to coast to re-election — especially when Republicans are so depressed by their own candidates that a mass suicide of Hoveround-Rascal riders is a distinct possibility next November. According to a new study [...]

Nobel Prize-winning economist the American Public overwhelmingly feels that America will probably collapse if the debt ceiling is not raised, but also feels like, eh, leave the debt ceiling where it is. A new WaPo/ABC News poll shows that 71% of Americans believe that failure to pay government debts would be catastrophic, and yet a [...]

Voters are still vaguely suspicious about the whole “Mormon cult” thing and whether Mitt Romney can be both President and a Mormon. A new Quinnipiac University poll proves that only 45 percent of voters have a positive view of Mormonism, and 36 percent of voters declare themselves “uncomfortable” about electing a Mormon, because Mormons believe [...]

It’s official: Americans have now “forgotten 9/11.” Obama is tied with Mittens in a new Post-ABC poll after losing his “bin Laden bounce,” and voter focus has mysteriously switched back to the jobs crisis. Our national honeymoon with bin Laden’s corpse is over (the sex was already sort of dropping off), and America is still [...]

Here is a hilarious poll for your weekend drinking: Obama is beating Romney by 9 points in a survey of Iowa voters. Poor Mittens was even rolling around doing some campaigning amongst the ungrateful Iowans when the poll was conducted at the end of May. What does Romney have to do for these people to [...]

Pakistan has been paid off for years to be an ally of the United States. The U.S. would like them to start acting like it. Quickly. Some Pakistani officials were allowing Osama bin Laden to hide in their dusty gated community in the suburbs just miles away from a key military academy (and, probably, 20 [...]

Before we turned off the teevee after that terrible debate last night, the Republican Party’s appointed Divider, Frank Luntz, was doing what he always does, standing in front of the whitest people he could find in a few hours, asking them questions to find out how best to make people like this think their political [...]

In a McClatchy-Marist poll released this week, 70% of registered voters who identify with the Tea Party opposed making cuts to either Medicare or Medicaid — the government-run health programs for the elderly and the poor — to help reduce the nation’s deficit. Meanwhile, only 28% of tea partiers said they’d be willing to cut [...]

Donald Trump has drawn a lot of attention in a slow-starting race for the GOP nomination. Roughly a quarter of all Americans (26%) name Trump as the possible Republican presidential candidate they have heard most about lately, far more than volunteer any other candidate. Among Republicans, 39% name Trump as most visible – more than [...]

Well, that didn’t take long. Yesterday, we predicted Donald Trump referring to African Americans as “the blacks” and blaming them for putting Obama into office would secure the final, racist part of the Republican base he needed to wrap up the presidential nomination with his joke of a campaign. Today, PPP has Trump up 9 [...]

At the rate Donald Trump is scooping up key parts of the Republican base the real candidates are too afraid to be seen courting, his fake candidacy will have officially have won the real campaign in only a week or two. Who’s he going after now? Racists. “I have a great relationship with the blacks. [...]