poverty
So remember that decision by the Washington Post to start a humor blog? This thing now exists. We have seen this thing. And, umm: Sometimes I think that the area I am living in is not dangerous enough, so I run outdoors and paint a mural. Little-known fact: the more murals a neighborhood has, the [...]
With one of every seven Americans — and 20% of all U.S. children — now officially impoverished, the nation is finally back to the official level of poors last seen during the 1992-1994 recession. Unofficially, the number is at least twice that high, as “experts think that people who are getting by on as much [...]
Famed Utah hazzan Senator Orrin Hatch proposed an amendment to the $140 billion jobs benefits extension bill today that would make people seeking welfare benefits first pass a drug test. Welfare will now be a level playing field, as poor people will not be able to get away with taking steroids to make themselves super-poor. [...]
Just a few short years ago, Americans huddled in their underground bunkers worrying that Saddam Hussein was coming to bomb them, personally. Now Americans huddle in their underground bunkers worrying that they’re going to have to tap into their emergency supplies of Hobo Beans — but at least they’re not afraid of the terrorists anymore!
John Edwards has been mysteriously absent from the news for many months, ever since he announced that he could very well have gotten John McCain elected president had he (Edwards) won the Democratic nomination because he was having sex with some hippie crystal worshipper who gave birth to a child that looked like “John Edwards [...]
Poverty: it’s America’s hottest new trend! Everybody’s hopping on the bandwagon! Poors are the new yuppies, etc.! And yet certain elected representatives in your state may still not be on board with anti-poverty legislation, because they are mean. Want to find out how people have voted in your state or district? Go to this leetle [...]
Since it’s the Depression and all, get ready for skyrocketing educational costs! State governments have no munnies for their public schools, and all the private schools wasted their endowments on AIG stock, so increased tuition costs get passed along to you, the consumer! And since there are no jobs waiting for you at the end [...]
By the Comics CurmudgeonSo apparently 60 percent of you think that we are on the verge of a new Great Depression! Hopefully those of your who believe this are preparing yourself for the coming crisis, by putting your money in low-yield, low-risk investments, stocking up on canned food and ammo, and drinking heavily. But there [...]
You know what Louisiana Republicans love? Constructing elaborate state-funded schemes for tinkering with the loins of undesirables. First comes Governor Bobby Jindal’s amazing proposal to castrate sex offenders, and now some kook in Metairie wants to pay poor women $1000 to have their tubes tied so that they will quit squirting out orphans to suckle [...]
