presidential addresses
Liveblogging Obama’s $450 Billion ‘I’m Sorry About Jobs’ Speech
Good evening, filthy jobless trolls. Is everyone ready to listen to President Barack Obama’s spin his latest web of futile proposals? We were just going to liveblog the Packers-Saints pre-game for you, because Satan himself on a good day could not force the Republicans to cooperate with Obama long enough to end the jobs Chernobyl, [...]
BIN LADEN DEAD: American Victory Over That Guy Liveblog Part II
by Jack Stuef
The wat is over. This is reality: Osama bin Laden, killer of people in office buildings, is dead. President Barack Hussein Obama overcame his devotion to Allah and the cause of the terrorists to do what the white idiot who preceeded him could not: our armed forces cornered the bastard in a SUBURBAN MANSION and [...]
Why Didn’t Obama Just Tell Us He Thinks Libya Is a ‘Turd Sandwich’?
by Jack Stuef
When President Obama was faced with the situation in Libya, he didn’t actually have any good options. If he and other wealthy countries decided not to intervene at all, multitudes of people in rebel-held cities would have been slaughtered on their watch. That’s the sort of thing that tends to happen in civil wars, but [...]
Hey, That Obama Address Sounded a Lot Like Bush Declaring War
by Jack Stuef
Look at the fun video we made! We have to admit, this war in Libya, at the moment, doesn’t seem so bad. The rebels are being protected, Gaddafi may eventually fall, and Libya could one day wind up a liberal democracy, a free country that emits shining Hope Rays to the rest of the dank, [...]
Liveblogging President Obama’s Announcement of Total War On Africa
by Jack Stuef
Tonight, the president of the United States addresses the nation on Libya. Have we invaded yet? Is Poland sending three or four guys to help us out? Will Obama have to trade jobs with Gaddafi according to a weird cease-fire settlement the White House took pains to stay out of planning? Though this war has [...]
Obama To Declare Mission Accomplished In Libya War Tonight
by Jack Stuef
Though Secretaries of War Adventure Robert Gates and Hillary Clinton are “leaving open” exactly how many years in Libya the United States will be fighting a war to remove a despot they say they don’t want to remove, President Obama is continuing on with a scheduled address to the nation tonight on our cute new [...]
Liveblogging the New Orleans Presidential Address
by wonkette
