• February 12, 2012

presidents

Former president of fast food Bill Clinton is counting his calories again, because daughter Chelsea gave him “strict orders” to drop 15 pounds of pudge if he wants to watch her marry that guy Marc Mexicansky or whatever next month. Chelsea’s a tough little cookie — she gets that from her mom. She also doesn’t [...]

PLUS THAT GIANT STONE PHALLUS: “Was this man, George Washington, truly our greatest president? No, not at all! Most historians put him in the ‘Top 50,’ at best. But he was the first president, of America, and for that we honor his service to our country.” [AOL Political Machine]

Ughh… people have asked for a drinking game for George W. Bush’s farewell address, which this liveblog will “cover” (as in, “maybe watch.”) Well here’s your game. Drink. Drink constantly. Locate alcohol and imbibe as rapidly as possible. YOU MUST DRINK, IT IS GEORGE BUSH JUNIOR COMMANDING RESPECT. SAVE YOURSELF. DRINK SOME ALCOHOL YOU IDIOT. [...]

On this Thanksgiving Eve, we want to remind Americans that all presidents have always looked like twits during the annual Turkey Pardon Photo Op — so Barack Obama will make history again as the first president to ever look cool next to these fucking turkeys. Here’s Harry Truman, reportedly forced by the National Turkey Federation [...]

Well, that was a very fancy narrative television show Barack Obama produced! We’ll pick up 6 episodes, with an option for 13. (Would have been better if Meredith Grey had come out in the end with a little monologue about her fear of commitment and then had sex with Barack Obama on top of the [...]

John McCain has been asking everyone “Who is the REAL Barack Obama?” and, ha, we’ve finally smoked him out; here is the Real Barack Obama, a bird-faced hellcop space lord clutching a dead kitty, staring at the camera, trying to rape John F. Kennedy. He’s with, uh, Jim Webb there in the dunce cap. You’ve [...]

Do you like comics, and American Political History, and some jokes? Well, here are some, in the form of a Web Comix Booklet, on the Flickr, by “Maria Sputnik,” and via Metafilter. Friday fun, etc. [44 Presidents and a Letter To a Cat]

AMERICAblog has posted the comical tale of a New Mexico resident who went to a popular local restaurant yesterday and saw the Republican candidates, in the flesh, who both basically ignored him even though he had a cute baby with him. Why do Republicans hate cute babies and men with liberal elitist iPhones asking insolent [...]

Every four years, Europeans get mad at Americans because only stupid ignorant U.S. citizens get to elect their president (who is always George W. Bush). So this year our friends overseas were delighted to participate in a meaningless poll conducted by the Telegraph, which showed conclusively that your average bewhiskered European hausfrau is just as [...]