primaries
It is a big day for Sen. Blanche Lincoln, who will soon learn whether she’ll win the Democratic nomination tonight or in a run-off some weeks down the road. Her job as candidate today was fairly straight forward: go to the polling place in Arkansas and vote for herself. She screwed this up, sadly.
THESE DEMOCRATS ARE SLICK! So the only reason that Blanche Lincoln’s very strong (some/all would say strong to the point of making the situation worse!) derivatives language is still in the financial regulatory bill is to trick lefties into voting for her in next Tuesday’s primary, after which they’ll just take it out. Savvy! On [...]
Primary season is underway like hotcakes! Next week, the “very hyped” Democratic Senate primary race between Arlen Specter and Rep. Joe Sestak will reach its terrifying conclusion, and the old man appears to be on his way to a loss. It doesn’t help him now, either, that Sestak is going around yapping about how Specter [...]
HA HA, IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED: “SALT LAKE CITY – Republican Sen. Bob Bennett was thrown out of office Saturday by delegates at the Utah GOP convention in a stunning defeat for a once-popular three-term incumbent who fell victim to a growing conservative movement nationwide.” For an Informative Wonkette Post about why this makes no sense, [...]
Remember two years ago when we pored over every single primary’s results — Jesus, we would, like, live-blog returns from gross states that we never even wanted to visit — just to see who was up in the delegate count or how Hillary was doing among white men or whether Obama had the momentum or [...]
Utah’s “junior senator,” the elderly three-term Republican Bob Bennett, is a 150% conservative monster who hates poor people almost as much as he loves his state’s official god, the Mormon Space Jeebus. So why is he losing so miserably going into his state’s Republican nominating convention?
GO J.D. HAYWORTH! Again, Arizona? Don’t forget that your duty this year is to kick John McCain out of Congress, just for the hell of it. Get him off the teevee forever.
Doctor St. Rand “The Son” Paul is kicking his opponent’s ass in the Kentucky GOP Senate primary, big time. This is bad for Establishment Republicans who love endless war and terror and torture. They had hand-selected this guy Trey Grayson to represent their love of death in the Senate, and now he can’t even beat [...]
America’s favorite orange-skinned reformed bachelor, Florida Governor Charlie Crist, is a pretty OK guy stuck with the unenviable task of governing a drooping land-phallus stuffed with meth fiends, unemployed real estate agents, and pythons. But now Crist has chosen to act like something of a dick to nice Sonia Sotomayor, for whom he would not [...]
Last year’s Democratic presidential primary was the most fun a girl could have with her clothes on. We watched for five(ish) agonizing months as the candidates hauled their carcasses around America’s forgotten backwaters, pretending to enjoy corndogs and common people, while Mark Penn quietly fulminated in the background because he forgot that Democrats did not [...]
SEND US YOUR SEXY VOTING DAY PICS: Hey it is primary day for Virginia libtards, a very exciting day indeed, so maybe send us photos of your rain-soaked polling stations and we will post them! It is always fun to see what’s going on in America, particularly in places where people hang out with Bitters [...]
Have you ever gone to a buffet and seen, say, three dishes such as lobster, chocolate cake, and cocaine, and wondered which of these delights to sample first? That is precisely the dilemma facing Republican voters as they ponder the upcoming 2012 general election, which starts in precisely one thousand-ish days.
We’ve already set aside several boxes of popcorn for one of 2010′s most anticipated comedy stories, when idiot Kentucky Sen. Jim Bunning will make a fool of himself daily in the process of losing his Senate seat. And now the hilarity might start even sooner, because Ron Paul’s child, Rand (“The Son”), might primary Bunning. [...]
