Wonkette

Here’s a very controversial ad from Liddy Dole in North Carolina, where she will probably lose her Senate seat for being annoying. Oh and look, the exact O.E.D. definition of “desperation” just happens to be this video’s YouTube description: “A new ad from U.S. Sen. Elizabeth Dole attacks Kay Hagan for attending a fundraiser hosted by people tied to an atheist group.” The end of this video asks, “She hid from cameras, took godless money. What did Hagan promise in return?” …to kill Jesus?? [YouTube]

Here’s the latest ad from the New Barack Obama, who’s nothing more than a big meanie. It’s responding to an independent ad from BornAliveTruth.org that claimed Barry voted to KILL LIVE BABIES — ones that have actually popped out of the vag! — during his pitiful tenure as a state senator. Obama directly blames this smear on the McCain campaign as yet another “DESPICABLE LIE.” Why is this fruitball Barack Obama suddenly trying to play politics? [YouTube]

The McCain campaign has farted out this new ad which, impossibly enough, is the least offensive spot we’ve seen from Walnuts in a while. And yet, so offensive, still! He tells us that Barack Obama’s only solutions for the financial collapse are “talk and taxes.” His very next sentence is, “I’ll reform Wall Street and fix Washington” — two crisp, granular economic policy proposals to contrast Obama’s cerebral, tax-and-spend hippie blather. Finally, Walnuts says, “I’ve taken on tougher guys than this before.” What ever could that mean? [YouTube]

C’mon people, stop bitching and moaning and threatening to move to socialist Europe under the false assumption that a lame Sarah Palin/Convention bounce has somehow sealed Barack Obama’s terrible fate. Wah wah wah. Things could be so much worse for Barry! Because if John McCain was set on picking a random lady with a narrative, he could’ve gone with Colorado Rep. Marilyn Musgrave instead. Her narrative, as shown in this re-election ad, is far more compelling than Palin’s. Musgrave grew up in Industrial England as a slave hobo, eating Oliver Twist’s leftover porridge and getting beaten up by her drunk father and crying. And then she became a Congresswoman! FOR FIVE AND A HALF YEARS. [YouTube]

Barack Obama’s new ad is about Education. How very exciting. Education. But given the material, it’s mildly funny: the screen suddenly turns gray and a pervy image of John McCain appears and he’s just staring at the creatures and his head is inflating like a devil balloon and he hates education money and he’s like I’M GONNA FUCKING EAT YR BRAIN NOODLES, exactly. [YouTube]

Here’s a Fun new Obama ad that SLAMS John McCain for NOT GETTING THE ECONOMETRICS. This is offfensive — who is this horrible yacht-rocker changing the lyrics of a Sam Cooke song? This is just so racist against George W. Bush. [YouTube, Raw Story]

Here’s a new thing from MoveOn.Org, which links vaguely troubled North Carolina Senator Elizabeth Dole to that bastard John McCain, who is leading in North Carolina. They give money to oil companies! And in case someone saying “in the pocket of Big Oil” is not stark enough of an image, this ad actually shows a man in a suit whose tie says “Big Oil” carrying photographs of each John McCain and Liddy Dole in his hanky pocket. The image would’ve been much stronger (and more adorable!) if it was an actual Fat Cat wearing the suit. [YouTube via The Plank]

The DNC has released a new web ad called “Exxon John” to support its “Exxon-McCain” gimmick. Maybe 50 or 100 political web junkies will recognize that this ad parodies the unintentionally hilarious Sen. John Cornyn video from a couple of months ago, “Big John.” Everyone else in the world, however, will watch this and wonder, “why did the Democrats make this retarded ad?” Also: now that the price of oil has dropped like $30 per barrel in the last few weeks, can these people stop talking about Energy so much? It’s painful to watch both candidates pretend there are any short-term solutions to offer. [YouTube]

Here’s John McCain’s latest idiot web ad attacking Barack Obama for being awesome and pretty much the most likable guy on earth. The only reason McCain is issuing this ad, of course, is so liberal bloggers can complain about the racial overtones inherent in white girls talking about getting “weak in the knees” over Obama. Then this theory will make it to all news networks; insecure white swing-voters will get sick of hearing about “Obama making this election about race” and decide to vote McCain based on inexplicable “character” issues. Oh, the liberal bloggers get blamed for everything. Ergo: this ad is Not Racist, but it is, what’s the word, completely retarded and not truthful. And not funny. [YouTube]

Here’s John McCain’s latest idiot ad where he claims, get this, that Celebrity Obama’s tax plan will ruin FAMILIES and SENIORS and FLORIST START-UP BUSINESSES. Apparently, these types all fit into the top 10-20% of earners, because everyone else will have more money under the Obama tax plan. Also, since McCain doesn’t like to admit that he’ll have to cut about 80% of Medicare under his plan in order to be anywhere near fiscal stability, maybe he, we dare say, is KILLING SENIORS. Which, come to think of it, would be an objectively good thing. [YouTube]