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Posts Tagged ‘daily briefing’

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Money, Coworkers Disappear From Earth

Friday, November 14th, 2008
  • Why good morning, America! “Retail sales plunged by the largest amount on record in October. …Retail sales fell by 2.8 percent last month, surpassing the old mark of a 2.65 percent drop in November 2001 in the wake of the terrorist attacks that year.” [WP]
  • The auto industry bailout doesn’t look like it will get through during a lame-duck session of Congress. [NYT]
  • Hillary Clinton is high on Obama’s list for Secretary of State, meaning John Kerry will be a loser again. [Politico]
  • Democrats are getting slaphappy again over the possibility of 60 seats and a “filibuster-proof” majority in the Senate. They just have to defeat a convicted felon, a Confederate colonel, and, uh, Norm Coleman. [Politico]
  • Bill Ayers talks to Good Morning America, bombs Diane Sawyer. [ABC News]
  • Wonkette welfare queens Sara K. Smith and Ken Layne both take day off; Jim Newell forced to wake up early and write constantly for like 20,000 hours. [Ron Paul Forums]

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Extra Credit For Everyone

Friday, October 3rd, 2008
  • Here’s what happened last night, in case you missed all the Action because you chose to plan your drinking game around every time Palin said the word “maverick,” in which case you probably died around 9:15 PM. [New York Times]
  • So even though SNL might have to write its own dialogue this week, Palin still didn’t really demonstrate even an elementary school level understanding of anything really. [Politico]
  • The House will be voting today on the new bailout plan. Pelosi says that she will cancel this thing before she lets everyone ruin it again. [Washington Post]
  • Wells Fargo is buying Wachovia for $15 billion. It will now have control of all the Wachovia bank locations, which is Important for Wells Fargo, which is looking to expand east. Hopefully this new company will be called Well, Wachovia. [New York Times]
  • Europe wants its own bailout plan for its banks — or at least France wants it, and Germany does not. [Der Spiegel]
  • Hey middle class, you know what won’t ever have toxic debt troubles? A $100,000 bottle of champagne and an emu. [Wall Street Journal]
  • Some “human remains” were found near where billionaire pilot Steve Fossett’s plane crashed last year. DNA testing forthcoming. [AP]

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That Other Alaskan Celebrity (Not Santa)

Thursday, October 2nd, 2008
  • The House will probably approve this new bailout plan, which is exactly what was said last time. [New York Times]
  • The Senate had a busy day yesterday, as it also voted to re-open nuclear trade with India. Looks like your President Bush is no longer without a single foreign policy success, hooray! [Washington Post]
  • Apple is threatening to shut down its famous iTunes Music Shoppe if royalty rates on songs increase. [Times Online]
  • Remember crime? It was this thing, in the 80s mostly. Don’t feel bad, no one’s mentioned for years anyway because of the Terror Threat. [Wall Street Journal]
  • All the Asian stocks are still falling, even though this bailout was half-approved. [Reuters]
  • Ted Stevens’ lonely boys pen pal club was just a “ruse” designed to land the thieving octogenarian free trinkets & home repairs. [Los Angeles Times]

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Palin’s Undiscriminating Love Of Journalism

Wednesday, October 1st, 2008
  • There are exciting new changes to America’s most hated bailout plan, namely tax breaks and a raised deposit insurance cap. [Washington Post]
  • The Senate, which thankfully does not include the House Republicans, will vote on the new plan on Wednesday. [Reuters]
  • For whatever reason, Asia seems to be pretty sure that the new bailout plan will pass, and so all of the markets over there bounced back this morning. [AP]
  • All the college kids who adore their precious Barack Obama so much will probably not even show up and vote for him because that’s how much they love him. [Wall Street Journal]
  • For Mugabe, “power sharing” means something more like “having all power, forever.” In related news, Zimbabwe’s government is on the verge of collapse. [Guardian]
  • When asked, Palin cannot name a single magazine or newspaper she reads (answer: “any of them that have been in front of me”) and then she trails off about god even knows what, literally every subject besides magazines and newspapers that she doesn’t actually read. [Gawker]

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The Morning After

Tuesday, September 30th, 2008
  • Oil — you’ll recall this commodity from that time before yesterday when we all owned cars and houses, yes? — is just $96 a barrel. [Reuters]
  • Instead of getting started on revising the bailout plan, Congressional leaders keep blaming each other, but mostly Nancy Pelosi, for their terrible failures. [Washington Post]
  • In response to America’s fuck-up, the Germans have turned to quoting Nietzsche, which, oh god, do you remember the last time someone gave a German a copy of Beyond Good and Evil? [Der Spiegel]
  • Even the Big Business lobbyists couldn’t persuade their friends the House Republicans to vote for the bailout. [The Hill]
  • Thanks mostly to the rejection of the bailout, Asian markets are suffering too. [AP]
  • Some poison milk found its way into some Cadbury bars in Asia, and now chocolate is ruined forever. [Times Online]

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Everything’s Over And Just Beginning!

Monday, September 29th, 2008
  • Last night the White House & Friends finalized Paulson’s $700 billion bailout plan. It’s a lot better than the original version, because both sides made Important Sacrifices. [Wall Street Journal]
  • Oh hooray, the House is voting today on Paulson’s Famous Bailout Plan, with the Senate voting maybe as soon as Wednesday, and people for the most part think it’s going to pass. But still, all taxpayers in America hate Hank Paulson and his stupid plan. [Washington Post]
  • Obama and McCain are pretending they’re fine with the plan, but Obama says he was holed up with Paulson in a bailout shelter filled with calculators for days while McCain was just pretended to do this thing. [AP]
  • Thanks to the vagueness of his new Plan, Demigod of the Treasury Hank Paulson now has unseemly amounts of power, more so than every other financier, ever. [Los Angeles Times]
  • Citigroup and Wells Fargo are said to be in competition over Wachovia, which is failing and up for grabs. [Reuters]
  • Bombs killed 34 in Baghdad on Sunday, making it the bloodiest day in the city this Ramadan. [CNN]

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Charles Rangel’s Illegal Dominican Cabana Problem

Friday, September 5th, 2008
  • McCain, in his big speech last night, vowed to end “partisan rancor.” He made this clear by using the word “fight” 43 times, literally. [New York Times]
  • St. Paul police arrested 250 anti-war protestors — filled, presumably, with now-illegal Partisan Rancor — before McCain’s acceptance speech. [St. Paul Star Tribune]
  • Bob Woodward’s new book alleges that the US spied on the Iraqi Prime Minister and asserts that the Surge didn’t work. Why would Bob Woodward rather win the election than lose the war? [Washington Post]
  • Charles Rangel failed to report the $75k he earned from renting out his $500/night lush Dominican villa. [New York Times]
  • Dick Cheney promised Georgia it would someday be included in NATO, and threw Ukraine in there too while he was at it. [Los Angeles Times]
  • McCain and Obama are tied in the mostly meaningless national polls. [Politico]
  • Ike and Hanna are not the last of the summer’s terrible hurricanes, in fact, hurricane season might last until October-ish. [Tampa Bay Tribune]

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Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Crap

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008
  • Alaskans are furious because Sarah Palin mocked their beloved “Bridge to Nowhere.” [Reuters]
  • Tropical Storms Hanna and Ike will ruin the last days of the Republican convention, as a weakened Tropical Storm Gustav tries to go all the way to St. Paul. [National Hurricane Center, NOLA.com]
  • About 250 protesters were arrested Monday — including AP photographer Matt Rourke and Democracy Now host Amy Goodman — after “anarchists” wrecked a peaceful anti-war march of 10,000 people in St. Paul. [Times of London]
  • Joe Lieberman and Fred Thompson will speak at tonight’s RNC session, because Gustav didn’t kill everybody so it’s back to the GOP program. [CNN]
  • Pro-democracy protests in Bangkok leave one dead, dozens hurt as cops crush revolt. [BBC News]

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You Kick Me When I’m Down, That’s Your Rule

Thursday, August 28th, 2008
  • Guess who showed up at the Dem Convention last night, after Biden’s speech? (We told you he would be there.) [SF Gate]
  • By the way, there was some history made in Denver last night. Huzzah for Barry. [Newsday]
  • “Rove Tried To Kill Lieberman” …. Oh wait, “Rove Tried To Kill Lieberman VP Pick.” [Politico]
  • But McCain just wants to pick some Abortionist as his vice president. [Washington Post]
  • Giant tech-savvy Afghanistan spider has somehow turned up in England and learned blogging skills. The terrified family “identified the spider using the internet.” [BBC News]
  • Hurricane Gustav shouldn’t hit New Orleans before Monday afternoon, leaving Ray Nagin plenty more time to party in Denver. [NOLA.com]
  • Stevie Wonder needs to play this song, as the Rolling Stones played it, at Obama’s stadium show. [YouTube]
  • Famous people, semi-famous people and indie-rock bands are all over Denver, “hoping” to get more press. [Denver Post]

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The Denver Road Is A-Goin’ To Melt

Tuesday, August 26th, 2008
  • Republicans are crashing the Dems’ convention, and Democrats will crash the GOP convention, due to the end of civility and the rise of dumb hate. [New York Times]
  • Tonight: Twisted psychodrama as Hillary and her supporters maybe sort of don’t entirely 100% say “You complete me” to Obama, because there’s never been candidate rivalry at a Democratic convention before (except for the other times). [Associated Press/U.S. News]
  • Russia has officially recognized the pro-Russia breakaway republics of South Ossetia and Abkhazia, which are currently part of Georgia. This means (cold) war. [Washington Post]
  • Yikes: A fourth dirtbag has been arrested in the “Kill Obama at the Stadium” plot. [CBS 4 Denver]
  • The sirens and ruckus you didn’t hear in Denver’s Civic Center Park around 7 o’clock last night? DNC protesters were attacking, uh, trees on 15th Street. [Rocky Mountain News/Denver Post]
  • Home prices are still dropping, but not as much as last quarter, so the housing collapse may or may not be nearly over. [Bloomberg]
  • Barack Obama must prove to America that he’s somehow a normal American, without offending the “Muslim socialist vampire lesbian community.” [Dave Barry]

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