pt rumors on the internets
RedState is spanking itself gleefully with a cinnamon-scented paddle because George Bush has been vindicated, and also everyone wants to know what he thinks about the atrocious Ground Zero Mosque. [RedState] Oh look: George Bush has commented on the 9/11 Mosque. His take: “Cordoba whaa?” And then he choked on a pretzel stick. Kaboom, vindicated! [...]
Hairy Reid’s pimping past is finally coming to light, thanks to a polygraph received by his former campaign manager. The results are to be revealed on a future episode of The Maury Show, where Reid will fall for a sexy decoy before finding out that he IS NOT THE FATHER. [RedState] Hooray! “Christian Civilization” is [...]
Now that Michelle Antoinette is officially Spain’s hottest monarch, her husband King Obama XIV is spending all his cash on lavish Rococo pursuits like sex swings and “health care.” Luckily, the Reign Of Terror is coming back soon, so it’s all good. [The Telegraph] Erick Erickson loves guns so much he would literally murder Bambi’s [...]
Matt Yglesias illustrates the ironic nature of our permanent occupation of Iraq with a special Alanis Morissette song! [Matt Yglesias] Remember Dan Maes, the Colorado Tea Party man who exposed the U.N. conspiracy that would have forced the entire city of Denver to ride around on an enormous Tandem bicycle? Dan Maes’ comments were taken [...]
Did you hear about yesterday’s ruling in The Elite vs. The People? That is the actual name of the court case in which the America People lost to the Elite Gays of California. [RedState] Jonah Goldberg is (once again) the NRO’s icanhascheezburger RSS feed. You are just one short click away from all the puppies [...]
Blind prophet and weepy Twitterer Glenn Beck favorited a tweet celebrating his favorite skin color, white! [ThinkProgress] Obama’s filthy stimulus money is not going to pay for RedState’s personal in-office hooker, as promised. Instead it’s going to monkeys and ants! What’s next, volcano monitoring? [RedState] Doctors are all awful racists, therefore it is okay that [...]
Here is today’s obligatory “No Muslim Churches at Ground Zero” thing. It brings up a lot of great points (i.e. 9/11) so make sure you read it in its entirety. [RedState] Governor Paterson vetoed important sippy cup legislation. What else is there to say? New York wants to keep the sippy cup down. [Daily Intel] [...]
The out-of-control Patriot Act allowed one of Obama’s best friends, a BLACK BEAR, to waltz into some poor family’s home, eat their fruit, and steal one of their most precious toys, ALL WITHOUT A WARRANT. [Daily Intel] As predicted in the Bible and on Glenn Beck’s chalkboard, we will all be tattooed with barcodes and [...]
Americans are fat and poor, mostly because of those damn muslins and their evil mosques and kor-annes and prayer carpeting. [Matt Yglesias] The White House built a ramp in honor of the 20th anniversary of Disabled Americans, and also because Joe Biden kept falling down the stairs. [Washington Examiner] Bastion of Tolerance Bill O’Reilly loves [...]
The entire Western Hemisphere is unemployed but surprise surprise, the U.S. Senate is too busy playing grab-ass with hott celebs to even feign interest. [The Caucus] Matt published super-private emails sent to him by Jonathan Strong, of Daily Caller JournoList muckraking fame. And now everyone knows Jonathan Strong’s secret phone number, so dial those digits [...]
Put on your PUMAs everybody, because Hillary Clinton is running for President! She made her official announcement over the weekend in the traditional style of a female, via her coiffure (which means “hairdo” in Arabic.) [Fox Nation] Lindsay Graham loves partial-birth abortions so much, he legally forced them on all children, by voting for Elena [...]
