Wonkette

Apparently the weather hates freedom, because it is a bitch to get to the polls today. Snow, fog, thunderstorms…let’s see, can we get a plague of locusts somewheres? Rain of frogs, pustules of some sort? Oh looky there was a “rash” of traffic accidents in northern Wisconsin. With just a dab of “wintry mix” on his side, George Bush can be president forever! [AP/Google]

The National Capital Planning Commission predicts that the entirety of Washington, DC will become a charming and bizarre underwater Victorian photo-postcard, reports the Examiner. MORE »

No one will vote in the following states today: MORE »

* The Supreme Court bench-slapped the White House in the Gitmo military tribunal case. Tony Snow is unfazed: “Oh, those wacky Supreme Court justices, who knows what those guys mean!” MORE »

* Late to work? Blame it on Canada. [Movering] MORE »

Will it ever stop? What have we done to deserve… wait, hold on — it’s totally sunny out right now. Kinda pleasant, actually! Still, the Post reports today that the IRS, Justice, and the National Archives are waterlogged and closed. But wait — don’t go trafficking drugs, evading taxes, and not counting your slaves as 3/5ths of your state’s representation just yet! While the IRS remains closed and without a projected date for reopening, their spokesperson promises that “the tax system continues to operate.” Justice is apparently fine too, according to this email we were forwarded earlier today: MORE »

Remember the emergency alert system? When your TV emits an annoying, high-pitched noise, shows you a rainbow-colored bar, and says “this is a test, this is only a test, of the emergency alert system”? MORE »

• Peter Daou joins the HRC team as “blog adviser.” To help “reach out” to the “netroots.” Drum up support in the “blosophere,” on the “information superhighway.” Become the first “e-candidate,” win the “iPrimary.” [Daou Report]

• “Washington Deluge Foretold by Global Warming Book”? Yes. That book is called Genesis, people! [HuffPo]
• When studying the data related to single-sex schooling, it’s important to note that the distracting presence of boys can prevent girls from traveling to Jupiter, to get more stupider. [Hit&Run]
• More angry letters from cranks. [PJMedia]
• Guy with hat suggests profitable media company sell self to publisher whose flagship New York paper loses more money more spectacularly than any other. [Ed Driscoll]