• February 13, 2012

reporters

Screaming radio lunatics agree: Egypt is the go-to place for “epic lolz” right now, what with all the protesters being shot dead in the streets and secret police vans plowing through crowds of unarmed civilians! And what about all those foreign journalists being rounded up? This is also very hilarious, is it not? America’s favorite [...]

Carl Paladino is not getting along with the newspapermen and women who comprise America’s distinguished Press Corps. Why is this? Did these humorless reporters not enjoy the pictures of Barack Obama eating fried chicken-flavored watermelon, the ones Paladino forwarded to them, Subject: “LOL! I’m RACIST”? Apparently not, and to make matters worse, Paladino almost beat [...]

There are, in 2010, only two types of political books that get published. Actually there are more, but let’s just say there are two. The first is for elected or appointed officials or staffers, whose financial incentive is to not fix or help the country in any way while on the job, quit after a [...]

The most challenging investigative task a prominent Washington journalist could ever face in his or her career is to cover the White House Pool Report beat, where our greatest reporters take turns following the President during off-hours — just in case anything like a sex affair or juicy “gaffe” happens — and then share the [...]

South Carolina’s embarrassing Argentine love-tango scandal may have made its governor look bad, but two parties have emerged from this sad nightmare smelling like little roses: Jenny Sanford, and The State newspaper. Yesterday the paper released a pack of hilariously sycophantic requests from various media outlets to Governor Sanford’s office suggesting that — !!! — [...]

Oh god this is too good: “The AP’s Christina Hoag reports that Brenda Lee, a reporter for the Georgia Informer, was dragged kicking and screaming from the press area near Air Force One at Los Angeles International airport (LAX) Thursday morning… KTLA reports that Lee is a self-proclaimed ‘Roman Catholic priestess.’ Lee claims she was [...]

Wacky whore & fraud Rod Blagojevich, who was indicted on 16 counts of epic corruption in Chicago yesterday, is currently on vacation at the Florida amusement park Walt Disney World. Oh, and he is with his family. Some local teevee reporter lady got wind of this yesterday and went to his hotel pool area to [...]

Mark your calendars for the year 2010 everyone, because there’s going to be at least one 2006-George-Allen-level comedic midterm race. Baseball pitcher Sen. Jim Bunning is running for reelection in Kentucky and will lose, loudly. Bunning resurfaced in the media recently for telling a pancreatic cancer-stricken Ruth Bader Ginsburg that she should go die alone, [...]

HERE’S A FUN PRESS CORPS GAME CALLED “STEAL POLITICO’S SEAT!” We rather like the anecdotes in this FiveThirtyEight post about how oppressed bloggers are always trying to steal Politico‘s seat at White House press briefings, only to be caught minutes later by confused Politico reporters. This could be a fun daily game! So we ask [...]

The New Republic‘s Gabriel Sherman has a lovely new story out about the dystopian hell chamber that is the Politico newsroom. The snarling, leprous leadership of Jim VandeHei and John Harris (a.k.a. “VandeHarris,” or simply, “AnusHair”) greets its intrepid blog reporters each morning at 5:30 a.m. with a hot shower of molten lava, followed by [...]

The whole point of covering a John McCain presidential campaign for a major news outlet is to make (potentially sexy) friendships with McCain and his senior staff, so as to, uh, “know your subject better,” as some have described it. And now they never get to see each other anymore! And Obama is an asshole [...]

Last night Obama went to introduce himself to the White House press corps briefly, politely. A Politico reporter started harassing him about one of his appointments. Obama told him to STFU, he could ask it at the next briefing. Politico writes the following lede this morning: “President Obama made a surprise visit to the White [...]

Now that dying Ted Kennedy has forced his shy niece Caroline to become a Senator for the sake of the family name, the entire global media plans to exploit her (and maybe she will even cry!) These reporters in upstate New York, who probably all smell and have back hair, must learn how to talk [...]

Just four short years ago, it was the Democrats who were getting called out in the press for constantly changing strategies and bickering publicly about petty nonsense. And four years ago, Joe Biden took a brave stand and asked reporters the very important question, “Who gives a shit?” (Those are the actual words out of [...]

My friends, this election is not what you think it is. It is not about choosing between two candidates (AND RON PAUL WRITE-IN 4 LBRTY) for the next president. Ha! This election has always been about something more fundamentally innate to the American ethos: how easily newspaper reporters can get access to John McCain on [...]