richard cohen
Hey, America: This is what you’ll lose, once the last bloated newspapers close forever: People like this, whining about the Most Important Thing Ever, a soggy newsprint version of yesterday’s wire copy and weeks-old syndicate features about “winter vegetables,” wrapped around a Big Lots! circular and six or seven pages of foreclosure notices in the [...]
Richard Cohen hearkens back to the old days, before the despicable Blackened Berries and loathsome Amazonian Kindle Stick ruined America, back when that woman (wife? who can remember!) silently delivered the victuals of his Daily Break Fast, a duty for which he oft rewarded her with the “women’s page” of the Morning Herald-Federalist. But there’s [...]
RICHARD COHEN DOES NOT CARE FOR GEORGE W. BUSH’S ‘QUANTITY OVER QUALITY’ APPROACH TOWARDS BOOK-READING AND FINDS THIS ATTITUDE INDICATIVE OF HIS GOVERNING QUALITIES OR LACK THEREOF: Remember a few years ago when word leaked that George W. Bush had been reading Camus’ The Stranger, and this was a modest gossip topic for about 12 [...]
RICHARD COHEN’S SISTER DOES NOT CARE FOR THIS BARACK OBAMA: “[Rick] Warren is anti-gay, and my sister, not to put too fine a point on it, is not.” We don’t get it. “She’s gay.” Oh okay. [Washington Post]
Ha ha, remember last Friday, before every bank in America liquidated and the New Depression kicked in and we had to boil our dogs for sustenance? Back in those innocent times, people were still fretting about how John McCain — a man who built a lifetime career on doing shitty things like leaving his crippled [...]
The Washington Post‘s Richard Cohen, everyone’s favorite old coot of a “moderate liberal,” has written a sort of hilarious rant against Sarah Palin today. He calls her a “sitcom of a vice presidential choice,” which is probably the most apt description yet. Then he gets sassy, MMHMM: “Still, you have to admit that in all [...]
JOE BIDEN SO BORING THAT EVEN RICHARD COHEN’S ANSWERING MACHINE HANGS UP ON HIM: Oh, this is just sad. Apparently Richard Cohen wrote some article about how Joe Biden is always jabbering too much, and Biden called him up and left a message thanking him for the critique. The message was so long that the [...]
Our favorite Washington Post old crab Richard Cohen has put together another gem today, following his recent coot-ish rambles about tattoos, his eyesight and, of course, uppity Negroes. Today’s topic: books! He is in Boulder in a bookstore, with the books that the children don’t give a hoot about anymore! They are buying them on [...]
You know how the New York Times turned down John McCain’s editorial because it was boring or whatever? We think we found it — it’s running in the Washington Post today, cleverly disguised under the pseudonym “Richard Cohen,” and it’s a full-on Andy Rooney-style rant about the youngsters and their awful tattoos (pictured, left). Today’s [...]
Look, everybody. Just donate a little bit to John McCain’s campaign, and you might have the American opportunity to develop the “keen eye” of heroic Richard Cohen! [John McCain]
RICHARD COHEN HAS LASER VISION, CAN SEE INTO MEN’S SOULS: “In some recent magazine articles, I and certain of my colleagues have been accused of being soft on McCain, forgiving him his flips, his flops and his mostly conservative ideology. I do not plead guilty to this charge, because, over the years, the man’s imperfections [...]
CAMPAIGN REPORTING DERANGEMENT SYNDROME: “I have come to loathe the campaign … I loathe the incessant blogging and commenting and talking and yapping and hype … This is an ugly porridge that has been placed before us, turned rancid since the cold, pristine days of Iowa only five months ago.” [Washington Post]
