rick santorum
Mitt Romney is just too busy “saluting” Rick Perry today to think about the fact that he actually lost to Rick Santorum in Iowa. But Romney’s team had time to release a statement downplaying the whole “we made history” claim (by pretending it was never uttered) and saying really, the whole thing was a “virtual [...]
Today’s Santorum scandal du jour — which means “a frothy mix, etc.,” in Santorum’s native language of Gay Obsessed — involves the various mansions he purchases through shady mortgages, in Virginia. But really, did he need to name his sketchy tax dodge “The Creamcup Trust,” and did he have to involve somebody named “James Sack”?
The team of artificial intelligence experts currently maintaining the Mitt Romney apparatus may soon need to inject their baby with a bit more inevitability fluid. You may recall the reports that Mitt’s 8-vote victory in the Iowa primary may have in fact been a 12-vote loss due to a reporting error. But, ugh, counting and stuff [...]
Sinking political tabloid Newsweek has got a HOT SCOOP on a story that, as usual, broke several years ago, which in this case stars the twentysomething sexytimes of one Karen Santorum née Garver before she met hubby Rick Santorum, all the way back when she was just a wily young nursing student who appeared at [...]
He’s not gone yet, but Rick Santorum will arguably be carried out of this campaign kicking and screaming by Mitt Romney, the tyrannical stepfather of the 2012 race, who’s just launched robocalls to South Carolina voters that feature audio of Santorum’s 2008 endorsement of Romney as the Republican candidate. On a scale of one to [...]
Santorum Iowa campaign staffer Jamie Johnson apparently sent out an e-mail last summer questioning whether it would really be appropriate for a woman, e.g. Michele Bachmann, to be president of the United States. Johnson, who sent the e-mail from his personal account, says the thing was “blown way out of proportion,” by which he means [...]
Ah, Rick Santorum. Rick, Rick, Rick. After winning the support of 100 evangelical leaders this weekend, the conservative candidate solidified himself as a seriousish contender in the Republican race, which is exciting only because it means the New York Times will now spend the next couple of weeks writing probing examinations of this true Washington [...]
Rick Santorum, down in South Carolina with the rest of the troupe, decided Thursday afternoon to lump Mitt Romney’s proposed policies in with President Obama, further confusing the capitalism debate to the point that it now sounds like an LSAT question with no real answer. In the process, he, albeit not necessarily consciously, decided to [...]
Mitt Crazy Eyes/9000/My Twinn Doll Romney has been declared the winner of the New Hampshire primary, seizing 37.3 percent of the vote, according to AP, with 43 percent of precincts reporting as of the time that this post was delivered to the Internet. Ron Paul is second with 23.4 percent, and Jon Huntsman scurried up [...]
NO we have not yet entered the 2012 general election phase of America’s ongoing destruction, but YES, it is time for a Wonkette drinking game, because how else was anyone planning to survive the hailstorm of dildos raining Apocalypse and Gloom on our nation from the New Hampshire GOP primary tonight? Yeah, WE THOUGHT SO. [...]
Oklahoma’s 10th Circuit Court of Appeals struck down Oklahoma’s proposed amendment to ban the use of Sharia law in the state Tuesday, helping to catapult this evil maneuver into oblivion. The court’s ruling upheld a lower court’s 2011 decision to block the amendment, which received 70 percent support when it was passed in a 2010 [...]
Pictured is this bossy new page in the merch section of Rick Santorum’s official website. Yes, our dreams have come true. Rick Santorum has read all the Google alerts about his sweater vests, he sees that he has received the coveted honor of being called a Trend by the New York Times (“For Santorum, Sweater [...]
It’s an election season, so the generally readable New Yorker has made its quadrennial mutation into a presidential campaign magazine, which is boring. Also, the magazine has finally delved into the deeply rewarding tale of how Dan Savage turned “Santorum” into the name for the “frothy mix of lube and fecal matter” used to make [...]
Resurrecting the speeches of fiendish politicians is the best thing about the Internet, and today we have a new floating spirit in the form of a speech Rick Santorum gave on the Senate floor in 2005 during the Democrats’ attempt to filibuster President Bush’s judicial appointments. The surly fellow compared his friends across the aisle [...]
Ready to ruin your Saturday night? Then please join us, as we liveblog the New Hampshire ABC News secret-handjob 2012 debate. Let’s hurt together, the way Santorum would want Jesus to hurt us, should we accidentally have the buttsex. Mitt Romney, known as “the guy who is really spending a lot of money to be [...]
