rnc
The latest from the Republican primary calendar war of attrition (started by who else, Florida) stars New Hampshire and Nevada in one of those screamy all-American knife fights that break out at the local McAnusChain after the cashier nervously announces they’re running out of chicken nuggets, except here the nuggets are just the “number of days [...]
The whiny lizards running the state of Florida are expected to start shit by declaring their GOP primary date January 31st, a week before the scheduled Feb. 6 date of the holy Iowa caucuses and well ahead of the other three sacred starter contests in New Hampshire, Nevada and South Carolina. Therefore, everyone panic. Look, Florida, [...]
Here is some interesting election news: the Republican National Committee has apparently amended its website to indicate that it finally abandoned the prospect of trying to beat Barack Obama in 2012. They’ll try again in 2016 and see if this floats up anything more interesting than the crowd of grossly illiterate and tiresome whiners filling [...]
WAIT A SECOND, THAT DOESN’T SEEM LIKE THEY LIKE HIM VERY MUCH! April Fools’!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
St. Valentine’s Day — the Christian holiday for masturbating alone in your room while you cry — is fast approaching! But who knows, maybe you will meet your soul mate/a naked person on ChatRoulette tonight? Maybe! Either way, you should send one of these electronic RNC Valentine’s Day cards to someone that you hate with [...]
The Republican National Committee has voted for change: It has voted for people making fun of their chairman’s name. On the 864th ballot, which was sponsored by a Lockheed Martin jet, the RNC finally selected Wisconsin Republican Party chair Reince Priebus as its new chairman. His claim to fame is defeating Russ Feingold and winning [...]
Michael Steele dropped out of the race to run the RNC after a series of closed door meetings with every candidate except, as far as I could tell, Reince Priebus. [...] Steele released his supporters — 28 in the last ballot — and asked them to “stand with me in supporting Maria Cino.” “And now, [...]
The 168 members of the Republican National Committee will cast their secret ballots today to decide who gets to be the next RNC Chair, and exit polls already suggest that Michael Steele lost by a million secret racial slurs. Will the white lady from Missouri win? Or maybe the white guy with the funny name? [...]
Which pea-brained clown will become the new chairperson of the Republican National Committee? Whether it’s the dingbat woman dreaming of getting wasted at her kitchen table again or the lunkhead who just keeps barking “Reagan! Reagan!” when asked if he has ever read a book, all five of these mouth-breathing imbeciles are perfect representatives of [...]
A weeklong canvass of the party’s governing board by POLITICO revealed 88 members who have decided not to vote for Steele, either opting to support one of his opponents or simply ruling out Steele as a choice in the race. But this is TEH POLITICO after all. They treat everything like a horse race and [...]
Self-proclaimed “street guy” who also is “chairman of a country club political party” Michael Steele is expected to say all sorts of preposterous things during the first RNC spoken word debate this evening. And Michael is already mowing down the competition: Bunk-ass hater Gentry Collins, a former RNC political director best known for writing a [...]
Many important nobodies from the nether regions of the GOP will compete to defeat superstar clown Michael Steele and become the new world champion RNC chairman. While the current crop of contenders lacks an actual slaveowner from South Carolina like the last time around, the 2011 contestants do all have extremely stupid names, such as [...]
Michael Steele ruined everything that is sacred about the God’s Own Party by running for re-election as chairman of the RNC, even though he is a silly individual who didn’t do a very good job. This leaves the party is still struggling to figure out how to get rid of him because he’s, well, one [...]
Michael Steele informed the Republican National Committee last night that he would seek a second term as RNC chair, causing committee members to choke on their mint juleps and then beat their Rentboys with riding crops as they whispered to themselves “that Negro!,” over and over and over again. Moments later, Steele appeared on Greta [...]
The Republican National Committee has quietly disclosed more than $4 million in previously unreported debt in amended filings with the Federal Election Commission, meaning yet another headache for embattled party chairman Michael Steele. JEEZ. THEY DID THEIR DUTY BY HAVING A BLACK GUY. NOW LET THEM HAVE SOME MONEY, PLEASE. [ABC News]
