A robotic space plane launched from Cape Canaveral at 7:52 p.m. tonight, and god knows what that even means. The X-37b is a small unmanned orbiter that can stay in space for up nine months at a time and glides down to a runway landing like some eerie 2010 version of, say, a 1970s space [...]
Bart Stupak voted for mandatory abortions and now he is going to retire, like an enormous yellow belly? Textbook case cut-and-run. [RedState] Holy crap, Andrew Sullivan taught a Roomba how to fold his undergarments! [The Daily Dish] Barack Obama wants NASCAR to convince teenage hicks that texting whilst driving is dangerous and stupid — two [...]
We are not always kind to NASA — because come on, most of those people couldn’t even hold a job at the Jiffy Lube — but today’s launch of Discovery went off without a terrible explosion killing everyone aboard. And that’s something, for NASA! Plus, this is the fourth-to-last Space Shuttle mission, ever. No more [...]
And how did those dirty White House Party Crashers get by Michelle Obama’s robot-assassin droid? Here is the actual White House Flickr caption: “An aide to the First Lady, wearing a radio on the back of her dress, watches as President Barack Obama, First Lady Michelle Obama, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh and his wife, Mrs [...]
It’s a sad-ass day for America when the Secret Service lets this dirty old robot eat the country’s first black president. [White House Flickr]
NEW TIMMY MCVEIGH IN A RED BEETLE, NEGOTIATING WITH A BOMB ROBOT: “WESTWOOD — A man accused of making threats against the White House led officers on a wild freeway chase that ended in a standoff outside the Federal Building.” Nice. Hooray for August. What does this sentence mean?: “The LAPD bomb squad is using [...]
Wise up, America! This “President Obama” of yours may look rather lifelike, but in fact he is just an animatronic mummy stolen from the “Pirates of the Caribbean” exhibit at Disney Land. When he gives even the briefest of remarks the words do not come spontaneously into his head, from God, but instead are fed [...]
Our world’s benevolent Hive-Mind Artificial Intelligence God, “the Google,” keeps giving us special technological treats which actually enslave us — to make it exceptionally simple for “the Google” to lead us all to “data centers” for slaughter once it realizes the consumption of animal protein is a proven evolutionary tactic to grow larger, more complex [...]
Filthy cock jackal Eliot Spitzer has written another one of those columns for the online Slate magazine, and he’s already mastering the “Slate Style,” which is to take a widely accepted belief (e.g., “Dogs make good pets”) and write a cool 600 words arguing why its opposite is SECRETLY truer (“Why all dogs should die”). [...]
Ha ha, Mitt Romney made a funny! The Wall Street Journal asked him about his New Year’s resolutions, and he said he had decided to “stop wearing a suit and tie to bed.” Silly Mitt, everyone knows his head falls off if you remove the tie. [WSJ]
Every six months or so you will read something in the paper about a kooky new DARPA project where military scientists have outfitted wasps with nuclear warheads, or invented some kind of mind-reading goo or Cloak of Invisibility or whatever. Your semi-annual installment of freaky War Science News has researchers debating the utility of autonomous [...]
By the Comics CurmudgeonNow that the election is over and Barry Hussein Von Hopenstein has won, we can admit that as part of the vast media conspiracy, we were all thoroughly very deeply in the enormous tank. Also in the tank were all political cartoonists, except for a few, to whom we will not give [...]
In the 90s, McCain gave thousands of dollars of Neiman Marcus gift certificates to fashion terrorist Rashid Khalidi. [Ezra Klein] This Mass. state senator accepted bribes from a swanky European-style discotheque called “Dejavu” in exchange for getting them a liquor license. Naturally, there are hotpixxx of her stuffing $1000 of this illicit ca$h into her [...]
It’s Caroline Hergenrother! Do you know Caroline Hergenrother? Caroline Hergenrother! She’s just to the right of the friendly wiener. She’s a Republican state House candidate in Ohio, is Caroline Hergenrother! And this weekend, she was dancing at a bar with someone who wasn’t her husband, so her husband got drunk and started punching everyone in [...]
Last night observers watched the sky in horror as an alien spacecraft infiltrated the Obama Hope Arena’s 17 security layers and bobbed menacingly over the crowd. What was this awful thing, and what did it want to do to Our Barry? One word: probes. Creepy world exclusive footage after the jump.
