rod blagojevich
It’s an important day in world history: the kick-off of Rod Blagojevich’s Effing Golden, Parachute-Me-There Courtroom Circus Spectacular. So how does one go about mentally preparing for the stress of facing 24 federal criminal counts? Maybe a nice jog through the mean streets, or some kickball?
Besides maybe—maybe—like, “swift-footed Odysseus,” has there ever been an epithet more memorable or enduring than “disgraced former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich”? D.F.I.G. Rod Blagojevich is pleading not guilty, baby, for the numerous felonies he was recorded committing and planning to commit. Yesterday in court, he said this: “I challenge the government, if you’re on the [...]
Look, it’s Max Baucus’s summer boyfriend, Mike Enzi! Mike Enzi has it so easy because he has a simple four-letter last name. Some people are not so lucky. In this video, note how fluently Mike Enzi says “ACORN” and how he cannot say “Blagojevich” at all. What, was this guy living under a buffalo for [...]
Did you know that Demon Sheep Tom Campbell once impersonated Elvis at a party, just like Rod Blagojevich? And did you know that the person who made Carly Fiorina’s famous ad was one Fred Davis, who also made the terrible “Celebrity” ad (Barack Obama=Paris Hilton, plus phallic symbols) a couple years back? Who wouldn’t want [...]
GUESS WHO IS AUDITIONING FOR CELEBRITY APPRENTICE?? That’s exactly right! Rod Blagojevich. He will compete against Tom DeLay, Meghan McCain and the parents of Balloon Boy in a series of challenges that will determine who personifies the most lucid argument against humanity as a general concept. [People]
Wonkette ideas-man operative “Jason” sends this video and writes, “A friend of mine works at WNYC and the staff have been sharing this AWESOME clip of Blago pathetically fiddling with a pair of headphones. Let’s all point and laugh at him.” Good idea. Ha ha ha ha, look at this guy! WHAT IS HE EVEN [...]
A local politician who is not Marion Barry claims DC will be invaded by “same-sex marriage” in the very near future. The last time our capital faced such unspeakable peril was during the War of 1812, when the Redcoats goose stepped down Pennsylvania Avenue and nicked James Madison’s Beanie Baby collection (and then torched Adams [...]
The biggest television event of the day has already occurred, and it has nothing to do with Obama and death care. Meghan McCain has been guest-hosting the ladies’ television program The View, and today’s celebrity drop-ins included Mr. Rod Blagojevich and his lovely wife Miss Lady. Meghan tells Blago that he is “ballsy” for writing [...]
On Wednesday and Thursday the Internet’s First Daughter, Meghan McCain, will be appearing on The View, America’s most threatening daytime pastiche! She will be filling in for one of the ladies, the Elizabeth one, who plays an uninformed blond conservative named “Elizabeth.” It will be the greatest performance of young Meg’s blossoming guest-hosting/role modeling/media criticism/blog/Tina [...]
ROD BLAGOJEVICH IS YOUR NEW KING OF POP: Failed atavistic Fellini villain Rod Blagojevich has been spotted peddling his clownish Elvis impersonation grift at a parade in downtown Chicago. Shame on you Rod Blagojevich, for this obvious insult to the memory of John Hughes. [Chicago Tribune]
Illinois political legend and pyramid builder Roland Burris will not run for re-election in 2010, according to various Chicago street organizers. And, because he wasn’t elected in the first place, he will also not do that, run for election. This will be announced tomorrow at Michael Jackson’s Friday News-Dump Memorial Service, to be held deep [...]
America’s favorite hair trap, Rod Blagojevich, appeared in a Second City comedy show on Saturday and made everybody deeply uncomfortable by either not getting the joke or getting it too much. “Everyone in the place was wondering the same thing: How could he sit there and watch himself depicted in this way? To sit sportingly [...]
While his wife is busy in Costa Rica eating spiders, the former governor of Illinois will amuse himself by taking part in “Rod Blagojevich Superstar,” a Second City show that is all about how much he sucks. One-time appearance this Saturday, tickets on sale now, etc! [The Second City]
