ronald reagan
Sorry we forgot to post about America getting into a war with Muammar Gaddafi again. What with the radiation cloud headed across the Pacific from some melting nuclear hellscape and the air strikes on Gaddafi’s Libya, we can probably be forgiven for thinking, “Eh, it’s just those incredible mushrooms and also that MDMA and probably [...]
Sarah Palin told Sean Hannity that she is embarrassed for Republicans — embarrassed! — because they are so squeamish about cutting the budget. What a bunch of faeries! “We need much greater cuts,” said Sarah, in the most unspecific and worthless way possible. “Republicans need to be bold and strong and they need those steel [...]
Oh look, your editor is going to talk about “Ronald Reagan’s Legacy” on Mojo Nixon’s political talk show, Lyin’ Cocksuckers, today at 5 p.m. California time and 8 p.m. Eastern time. It’s Sirius 104 and XM 150, tonight! Says Sirius Radio: “About the Program: Mojo Nixon’s Political Talk Show Show: 8:00 pm – 9:00 pm [...]
Ronald and Nancy Reagan spent part of their 1952 honeymoon at the Mission Inn in Riverside, Calif. To mark the occasion, the resort is now offering “The Reagan Honeymoon Package.” Among other amenities, the $1,199 getaway includes “Deluxe Accommodations for Two in the Alhambra Suite” where the Reagans stayed the first night of their marriage. [...]
Hey, that dead-guy party happened yesterday. And what should you take away from this? The Reagan people want you to know they spent $10,000 on cake. Like, literally, they went around telling the press they spent $10,000 on cake, so that people would know they spent $10,000 on cake. So here you go, American public: [...]
Ben Quayle is a Politico op-ed contributor? Of course Ben Quayle is a Politico op-ed contributor. “When I was a child, President Ronald Reagan was the nice man who gave us jelly beans when we visited the White House.” Sure, the nice old man’s mind didn’t always seem to be there, and half the time [...]
A hundred years ago, an angel was born on Earth. So this weekend, eat some jelly beans (get diabetes) in honor of Ronald Reagan. Egypt’s tourism industry took a hit this week, for some reason. President Obama finally admitted that he takes personal orders from Muslim Jesus, at his national prayer party. The National Enquirer [...]
Oh what is this weird thing we just found in the archives from, uh, 2007? Answers at the bottom. If you’re the kind of DC gal who loves douchesack Young Republicans and you trawl Craigslist for fuck buddies yet you’re still too stupid to find a basic Ronald Reagan biography online, then have we ever [...]
Oh can you believe it was only a hundred years ago when Ronald Reagan was born? Which side of the Civil War did he fight on, anyway? (Answer: He didn’t fight at all, but he was an extra at the Ford Theater the night Lincoln was shot, and later claimed to have played the role [...]
We do not throw around a lot of praise for “political books” here at Wonkette, because almost all political books are awful. The Clothes Have No Emperor is an exception. This droll accounting of the Reagan presidency was published in 1989, and your editor still has the dog-eared, scribble-annotated trade paperback on his bookshelf. It’s [...]
One thing Ronald Reagan used to love was sucking on a little fruity jelly bean, back when he was president and sitting at his desk thinking about 1950s movies while a bunch of sociopaths running the White House actually began the “IslamoFascist Movement” by first employing Osama bin Laden against the Russians in Afghanistan and [...]
This year’s Super Bowl may not include Tim Tebow lecturing America about nearly-aborted fetuses, but it has something even better: Lord Ronald Reagan! Some soulless libtards planned the Super Bowl to be on Reagan’s 100th birthday, so to make up for this, the event will now include a pre-game circle jerk tribute to this dead [...]
As we honor Ronald Reagan’s birthday, let us also remember his greatest achievement: January 28, 1986: the Challenger explosion. From his famous speech: There’s a coincidence today. On this day 390 years ago, the great explorer Sir Francis Drake died aboard ship off the coast of Panama. In his lifetime the great frontiers were the [...]
Ancient lizard god Ronald Reagan achieved many things during his 93 years on Planet Earth, one of which was the actual creation of Planet Earth (modern conservative scholars will confirm this, so don’t argue). It seems our greatest president’s 100th birthday will occur this February 6 (mark your calendar with eagle tears, plan a seance, [...]
