ronald reagan
Ron Reagan claims in his new book, My Father at 100, that former President Ronald Reagan had signs of Alzheimer’s disease as early as his 1984 re-election campaign, Washington Whispers reports. BREAKING! (Not breaking.) And now Margaret Thatcher has dementia. Those two must have been doing some crazy shit together. [Political Wire]
It’s morning in America, for reals this time! The United States has finally honored its favorite sanitation robot that toiled for 800 years cleaning up the Earth after fat slob humans trashed the whole place. That’s right, WALL-E is now on a postage stamp, so that very old people who still pay bills with stamps [...]
Cigarettes are going to cease to exist forever because the FDA has unveiled new, scarier anti-smoking warnings that will cover 50% of the front of cigarette packaging. But because these warning pictures were made by bureaucrats, they’re not actually that scary. Where’s the photo of a cigarette chopping a guy’s dick in half? C’mon, government. [...]
According to “files obtained by Salon,” 1996 Republican vice-presidential candidate Jack Kemp was investigated by the FBI because everyone thought he was really, really gay. So score one for Salon’s crack investigative team, we guess, for finally bringing down that dead guy who lost his election 14 years ago. The FBI looked into the matter [...]
Hello, sad and destitute American: Why did you even bother waking up this morning? Did you not eat enough Ambien for dinner? We understand. (The dreamworld is the only place where we are free from Tyranny, and the brownz.) Woe is us, sigh. This doesn’t even matter because nothing matters anymore, since America is Dead, [...]
Because only half the country is still freaking out about the 9/11 Mosk, media outlets have decided to concoct a new and even more terrifying story — this time about Ronald Reagan, and how he has possessed some poor soul and now walks among us. Who is this new Ronald Reagan, and where should we [...]
Who is this vile, lisping piglet known as the “top ranking Republican” on the Senate Judiciary Committee calling everybody and everything (mostly Elena Kagan) Communist and Anti-American? Why it’s Alabama heartthrob Jeff Sessions, the Reagan-era U.S. attorney in Mobile who, when nominated by the Gipper to be U.S. District Court judge in southern Alabama, was [...]
Is your dad an angry old wingnut? Is he also still alive? Well here is a gift for the upcoming “thing after Mother’s Day” occasion, “Father’s Day.” It’s from NewsMax, the great online Internet webzine/old-people newsletter that will soon own Newsweek if the Kaplan School Testing Company is run by people with a sense of [...]
BEST REAGAN USAGE OF THE DAY: Linda McMahon, who owns the beloved pro wrestling organization WWE with her strange husband Vince, is running for the Republican Senate nomination in Connecticut. When asked how she balances her Political Values with the fact that she runs the most overtly trashy company in America, she just started babbling [...]
America’s greatest new blog journalist, the Boston Globe‘s Garrett Quinn, sends this Perfect Photograph from this weekend’s Massachusetts GOP convention. How do we know that’s not Scott Brown in the middle, hiding from Sarah Palin? First, he is not naked. Second, Scott Brown’s fur is on his own skin.
With the United States still dragging itself out of the worst recession since the Great Depression, Ronald Reagan’s 1984 campaign team came up with this awesome “It’s Morning In America” theme. More people than ever were going to work, because … there were more people in America than ever, due to population increases. Mortgage interest [...]
Remember this guy? Probably not, right? Well he was governor of California in the 1970s, when he was also banging the hell out of Linda Ronstadt, in a trashy apartment across the street from the governor’s mansion in Sacramento. What happened to Jerry? He lost all that hair, for one thing, and he also lost [...]
