sarah palin
See how time passes these days, faster than you thought it would, faster than the rules of the space-time continuum suggest they could, because Track Palin and his wife of three months, Britta, have a new baby! That is “the miracle of science” that the Palin family tree has discovered and been perfecting in their [...]
Oh look, it is the helmeted space turd Sarah Palin doing a greatest hits tour on Fox News. Is this a replay clip from 2008 talking to Sean Hannity? No, it is Sarah Palin reenacting one of her more popular Dances of Stupid in exchange for her Fox News gold coins. “The teabaggers can’t be [...]
Touchy maggot sack Jonah Goldberg got into “one of his moods” today and typed a column entitled “To Hell With You People” over in his Corner, because he is incredibly sick to his stomach that the vicious liberal media did not bother to crucify and poop on Joe Biden’s corpse for saying something dumb and [...]
Apparently there is a marginally employed woman on Facebook who lives in Alaska and grows children and has opinions about things, lots of them, about political things. Oh look, she found something about politics in her “Saved Documents” folder from last year, she’ll throw that up on the Internet, some sort of rant about the [...]
In spite of record heat waves and the rising cost of air conditioning bills that make repeated trips to the movie theater perhaps a sensible alternative to heat death, moviegoers across America still found the courage to give Sarah Palin horror flick The Undefeated a resounding middle finger for the second weekend in a row. [...]
There must be something in that Alaska soil that makes the young women there so fertile, at least the young women who spend a lot of time getting hammered and doing it, in said soil. America weeps this evening, because someone in the Palin family is apparently pregnant again. No, it is not Piper (yet), [...]
Sure, maybe we can’t all spend five trillion dollars on spray paint to make the family trailer look like Sarah Palin’s Magic Crazy School Bus, but shouldn’t we, as Americans, be able to make small improvements to our vehicles, to honor Sarah and her Race to Nowhere? Isn’t “Vanity Plate Freedom” part of the First [...]
Faded reality-teevee grandma Sarah Palin was hoping her remaining fans — other bitter middle-aged white people who expect to get rich without working — would flock to the premiere of the new two-hour commercial/home movie about Sarah Palin. But in the Republican stronghold of Orange County, California, one of only ten theaters nationwide to release [...]
Hooray, is the Internet pooping out more documents filled with juicy details about Sarah Palin’s pointless and yet self-serving political projects? Why yes! Palin’s latest SarahPAC filings with the FEC are a Political Topic today, because everyone’s favorite grifter quitter queen spent $14,000 just for the goofball decals on her “Road Accident Death Tour of [...]
Just yesterday, we celebrated star actress of The Learning Channel, Sarah Palin, and her sweatshirt-glam cover on Newsweek magazine, where she bravely declared, “I can win,” even though she is not in any sort of snowshoe race or Scrabble match at the moment, not that she could possibly win either of those things. The most [...]
We applaud Newsweek on the headline “I Can Win” for their cover story about Sarah Palin, a person who is not actually in competition for anything and does not care to change out of her jogging outfit for a cover story photo shoot. If only there were something for Sarah Palin to compete at, to win? [...]
Everyone in this country is, one way or another, a victim of snowbilly grifter Sarah Palin. But according to the expert investigative journalists at TIME, there is one particular victim who needed to have her story told. That would be 20-year-old Sarah Palin, a college student whose parents made a very unfortunate decision back in [...]
And now it is time to check in with marshmallow human Newt Gingrich for the latest in high tech interactive multimedia. Oh hey look, Newt has discovered hip new social networking thing Google “plus,” which is just Facebook without Farmville or Sarah Palin and all her turd followers on it, which means it is still [...]
In the absence of Sarah Palin saying anything about whether she will run for president, her followers are walking around the Iowa cornfields as un-anointed apostles canvasing for their mysteriously quiet snowbilly messiah and waiting for her sign. What else has anyone even got to do these days, except wait for signals from space monsters? [...]
