scandals
Hey so here is a thing! Once upon a long time ago (earlier this week, when your editor was busy Googling “galloway drink-soaked popinjay”) somebody took a picture of what looked suspiciously like ILLEGAL POWDERED DRUGS and said basically “Long day at the office, you would not BELIEVE where the office is BTW” and then [...]
It’s becoming clear now that handsy Texas ball-of-fire Rick Perry, in notably indiscreet fashion, has been trying to cover-up or kill an investigation into the execution of an innocent man, which would show that… well… he and his staff could have maybe prevented this from happening! This is a major scandal, for serious. BUT LET [...]
WHAT’S GROSSER THAN GROSS? “While he was unpacking, Young discovered a videocassette, according to the book pitch. Hunter had been hired by the Edwards campaign to videotape the candidate’s movements, but this one is said to have shown him taking positions that weren’t on his official platform.” [New York Daily News]
On Friday night the New York Times, a well-known snarky DC gossip blog, suggested that a guy who briefly dated Mark Sanford’s ladyfriend may have leaked a bunch of emails to Sanford’s hometown newspaper. But now Sanford’s ladyfriend is denying it, saying that the accused leaker in question “is an excellent, respectable and honorable man [...]
OH AND HERE’S SOME ACTUAL NEWS: “Blagojevich, 52, was indicted on 16 felony counts, including racketeering conspiracy, wire fraud, extortion conspiracy, attempted extortion and making false statements to federal agents. He allegedly abused his office in numerous matters to seek money, campaign contributions, and employment for himself and others, in exchange for official actions, including [...]
FBI RAIDS OFFICE OF OBAMA COMPUTERBOT NOMINEE: Vivek Kundra was nominated to be the government’s first ever Chief Information Officer a few weeks ago, and everybody was all “Hooray!” because he was going to switch the entire federal government over to Gmail, for free, and give every employee a share of those sweet Google Adsense [...]
HA HA HA WHOOPS: “U.S. Sen. Roland Burris, who repeatedly denied anyone tied to disgraced former Gov. Rod Blagojevich solicited him for cash in exchange for his seat, now acknowledges Blagojevich’s brother asked him three times to help with fundraising… In a statement released Saturday, Burris said he didn’t disclose the facts because he ‘was [...]
Sometimes comical ex-Detroit mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick, was released from Detroit prison after 99 days of memorable anal sex (and a possible conversion to Muslin!) He was picked up by a private driver (remember to pay taxes on that!) and emerged to the screams of a full dozen insane “fans.” He remains on probation, duh, but [...]
Well this is surreal! What a waste of time and taxpayer money this Illinois Senate impeachment trial is, just rehashing comical two-month old quotes from the teevee news. Apparently they played the actual recordings of Blago’s famously profane Senate seat auction, though, and you can listen to them here. He has the voice of an [...]
Attorney Edward Genson has abruptly quit his role leading the Gov. Blago defense team two days before the idiot’s impeachment trial begins in the Illinois Senate. Instead of listing the standard “personal reasons” or a professional conflict of interest, Genson cites that JESUS CHRIST HOW DO YOU WORK WITH THIS IDIOT: “I never require a [...]
How AP writer Michael Tarm resisted the urge to end this headline in ” — no, but seriously, we’re not even joking,” we’ll never know. [AP]
Here’s a liberal Democratic slob named Gary Becker, the mayor of Racine, Wisconsin. “As mayor,” the newspaper tells us, “he has been a proponent of regional solutions to problems in southeastern Wisconsin.” Right on. Also, he fucks children.
This is Ken Blackwell, the man who STOLE THE 2004 ELECTION FOR GEORGE W. BUSH IN OHIO & AMERICA and is now running for RNC chairman. He just wants to let you know that he’s not gay but if he did have the gay “compulsion” he could fight it, and not have sex with dudes, [...]
RACISTS IMPEACH BLAGO: “SPRINGFIELD—In a historic vote, the Illinois House has impeached Gov. Rod Blagojevich, directing the Senate to put the state’s 40th chief executive on trial with the goal of removing him from office. The vote by the House was 114-1 and marks the first time in the state’s 190-year history that a governor [...]
SARA K. SMITH IS PRESIDENT OF DRUDGE REPORT: Your favorite Wonkette editrix is also writing comical blog posts serious journalism for NBC in, uh, New York. And Los Angeles. And she got a DRUDGE LINK for her very first piece, about how lonely puritanical Democrats don’t have any Sexy Scandals — it’s right there in [...]
