sex
Once upon a time in America, there lived a peanut farmer and known Georgian named James Earl Carter. He became world-famous because he was the first American to parlay his goober habit into several other glamorous careers. And we do mean several; this man has changed identities more times than, uh … who’s popular these [...]
Really? Did Al Gore try to get some 54-year-old masseuse gal to massage his dingus at a Portland hotel where he was staying to give a Climate Change speech, and when the woman showed no interest did he then get angry and demand she have sex with him? Is Al Gore supposed to be the [...]
How many days since the last prominent anti-Gay Republican got outed as a Secret Homosexual? Several! So it’s time to report on the latest gay-hypocrite rumors, this time about Illinois Republican Mark Kirk, who is running for Barack Obama’s old Senate seat from Illinois. According to a blogger who “outs” the closeted gay Republicans who [...]
The weird “blogger has sex with hot governor-candidate lady” just keeps getting sexier (except for the blogger-having-sex part). South Carolina GOP person-turned-blog-typer Will Folks has produced various Holy Texts about the sexytime he supposedly had with GOP candidate Nikki Haley. They all used to work together with Mark Sanford, because the South Carolina Republican Party [...]
Tracy Jackson, you have made very poor choices in life. You are pretty and reasonably young. And yet you *allegedly* let this gross old Jesus Freak Republican Family Values Congressman climb all over you and hump on you. Also, Tracy Jackson, Fox News reports that you are *also* married. UPDATE: Oh you think you can [...]
Indiana Republican and eight-term congressman Mark Souder is resigning immediately because he had sexytime with a woman who was not married-in-Christ to him. Souder just defeated a teabagger in the GOP primary, but with less than 50% of the vote, and eh we’ve never heard of this guy — Indiana’s third congressional district, we should [...]
LOOKS LIKE GOP FAT-CAT ERIK BROWN LIKES S&M/FAUX-LESBIAN BOOBIES AFTER ALL: The Note reports:
Are you one of the fistful of Americans who cares what Rielle Hunter does with her life since she bravely bore the child of the android King of Vulgarian Monticello, Mr. Johnny Edwards? Well, read on! Rielle Hunter has completed an interview with GQ and posed for a pantsless photo, just as Susan B. Anthony [...]
Is it possible for anyone to say no to this draining? [Craigslist]
By the Comics CurmudgeonSince you’re reading Wonkette, I assume you’re some kind of news-reading nerd, since without a deep and thorough understanding of the American political system and world events you can’t appreciate the many philosophical layers of our hilarious dick jokes. Which means, of course, that you’ve probably had your fill of tales of [...]
Everybody thought Eliot Spitzer triumphed over Scandal when he quit the New York governorship to write an occasional column for Slate, but his victory was nothing compared to that of his onetime paramour, “Kristen” Ashley Dupre. The former New Jersey hooker and MySpace songstress now writes an advice column for the New York Post, which [...]
In an incident in which the perpetrator should have considered that he would become a household name on Wonkette before going through with it, former Missouri House Speaker Rod Jetton is facing assault charges for allegedly beating the shit out of his mistress while having sex. His ladyfriend had not uttered the “safe word,” probably [...]
O’Reilly’s figured it out!
Speaking of Nancy Pelosi and Afghanistan and sexism, here’s a completely brilliant clip of cool-as-ice Harry Reid, the “Late-Middle-Aged Arthur Fonzarelli of Reno,” executing the latest attempt in his decades-long quest to “break the touch barrier” with Nancy Pelosi, finally. (And after all these years!)
