sexytime
Down in the dumps about the election? Looking for an escape from our National Jobs & Politics Sadness via the wonder of books? Do you crave Teabagger erotica about a small-town Texan sheriff who leads a dramatic insurrection against the degenerate rulers of Amerika, leaving a trail of dead and maimed illegal immigrants in his [...]
What makes people “liberal,” anyway? According to liberal university research scientists at liberal universities somewhere, being liberal means that you are an awesome person with many sexy friends. This is why you are so cool! Also, you probably had a lot of oral/anal with your other liberal friends at college, which is proof of the [...]
Wonkette commenter ph7 pointed out this Yahoo news thing that FLIES IN THE FACE OF EVERYTHING WE’VE BELIEVED IN: As she explained to the Wilmington News Journal in 2004, she did “things she regrets” in college, such as drinking to excess and becoming somewhat sexually promiscuous. Those regrets spurred her to promote chaste values, and [...]
How many of you people have been running calculations like this in your mind? Okay, she was born in 1969, wait a minute that’s even older than me, and … she claims she’s never done WHAT? Here’s what our pal the Cajun Boy had to say on his Twitter just now: “Wait, Christine O’Donnell is [...]
There are many good reasons not to Vote Newt for President, the best and most obvious reason being that you need to save your vote for John Bolton! Another good reason is because Newt Gingrich is a horrible cumsicle. Or maybe you refuse to vote for Newt because Newt loves the ladies so much, which [...]
BP’s sacrificial Scottish piñata, Tony Hayward, is not exactly getting his life back. BP is reportedly sending him to Siberia, to run some operation there. Haha, isn’t that where the Soviets/Putin send traitors? And didn’t Washington just trade the Sexy Spy and her yuppie buddies for some Russian scientist who had been held in a [...]
Somebody tell Charlie Rose to get his ass to Hot Topic: Maureen Dowd wants to make sexytime with a vampire. Imagine, for a moment, that you are M. Dowd. Your journaliturgical home, the New York Times, reaches millions of humans around the world via print and the Internets. Now let us also imagine that it [...]
Seattle’s famous alt-weekly The Stranger has a special new issue full of GOP Sexytime stories, mostly involving homosexual encounters with Jebus Preachers and other Republican types. But how do you know the “sweet,” “gently” and “sappy” guy you’ve picked up is actually a family values conservative? Well, maybe after you schtup him and vice versa, [...]
Really? Did Al Gore try to get some 54-year-old masseuse gal to massage his dingus at a Portland hotel where he was staying to give a Climate Change speech, and when the woman showed no interest did he then get angry and demand she have sex with him? Is Al Gore supposed to be the [...]
Whoa, forget the oil spill, here is some tabloid sexytime gossip about Al Gore: The Star reports tonight that Gore has been having a sex affair for two years with Laurie David, the environmental activist and ex-wife of teevee grouch Larry David. Is this true? Well it was true about another southern politician who wanted [...]
Representatives Anthony Weiner (D-Brooklyn) and Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) finally found cross-party cooperation in the supple mouths of these goats. It was a dumb stunt to promote …. eh, who cares? Both men got off and then the goats were slaughtered in a VooDoo Ritual, the end. Just kidding! One of the goats actually attacked Weiner [...]
Nikki Haley hopes to be the new Mark Sanford of South Carolina, and various fellow Republicans are doing everything they can to make sure the “Palmetto State” continues to be known as the GOP’s hourly motel of sexy/immoral extra-marital affairs. First, some weird blogger (and former aide to Mark Sanford) released the shocking details of [...]
How many days since the last prominent anti-Gay Republican got outed as a Secret Homosexual? Several! So it’s time to report on the latest gay-hypocrite rumors, this time about Illinois Republican Mark Kirk, who is running for Barack Obama’s old Senate seat from Illinois. According to a blogger who “outs” the closeted gay Republicans who [...]
