snowbilly
Good god, we’ve gone several hours without a Levi Johnston update! Yesterday, we all learned of Young Levi’s political plans: He wants to run for mayor of Wasilla, because he heard about this other idiot who managed to become mayor of Wasilla. But his bastard child’s sketchy old granny (Sarah Palin) isn’t even mayor of [...]
Illiterate glory slob Sarah Palin mangles English so that her brain-damaged followers can write “peoms” praising her greatness, so why can’t you liberal elitists realize her Twitter-Facebooks are better than what’s his name, Shakespeare, who wrote a pretty good Claire Danes/Leo DiCaprio movie despite being even dumber than Sarah Palin and George W. Bush combined?
Noted oil-industry shill Sarah Palin is so darned upset about that oil spill down in Mexico’s Gulf of New Orleans, she’s ready to beg for mercy at the feet of the Biggest Government of All. Why won’t Sarah Palin use her real-’murican can-do spirit to plug the danged hole instead of leaning on God, who [...]
Fox News and the popular entertainment press have conspired to kill off Sarah Palin’s “Boob-Gate.” It’s over and finished, done, no more fun, no more page views, basically the end of America — but not really, because Palin herself had to get in a cutesy teevee reacharound with her Scientologist enabler Greta Van Susteren before [...]
Wonkette has never broken a more Important News Story than that one about Sarah Palin maybe or maybe not getting new boobs from the doctor. It has been repeated and reposted around the world, even on Howard Stern’s show. And, for the first time in HISTORY, Sarah Palin is actually keeping her mouth shut. No [...]
We got a political news tip on our Facebook page from Wonkette operative “Laura,” and it goes like this: “Sarah Palin 12/09 no boobs http://bit.ly/bmQtPJ #Sarah Palin today, Instant boobage! http://j.mp/dokqd2 only her #plasticsurgeon knows4sure.” We are not fluent in the Twitter-Facebook dialects, but somehow we can follow the gist.
Comedy time again, as long as you can laugh at an oil-drenched seabird who can’t get back to its wetlands nesting site to feed its babies, stupid bird! Sarah Palin has a hilarious new Facebook message that will, probably, end up being BP’s actual legal defense, which the Supreme Court will eventually rule in favor [...]
LIFE WITH THE VULGAR CRETIN PALINS: “I was like, ‘Mom, Mom.’ I was bawling my eyes out. She was like, ‘What’s wrong?’ And I was like, ‘I’m pregnant.’ And she was like ‘Oh my God. Holy crap.’” [Political Wire/Harper's Bazaar]
Wasilla, Alaska, 2:08 p.m.
Famous abstinence activist/teen mom Bristol Palin is hitting the lecture circuit to teach teen moms how to deal with the poverty that usually accompanies teen pregnancy: Go on the lecture circuit and make up to $30,000 per hour — if your mom is famous wingnut Sarah Palin, that is. WE REPEAT: dumb teenager Bristol Palin, [...]
Sarah Palin’s whole nutty family appeared in that USA Weekend newspaper insert on Sunday, and even a sympathetic publication that only appears in the pro-America America can’t help but make Palin and her brood look like a bunch of bird-brained weirdos. The whole cover story is only about 900 words long — normal for these [...]
Hooray for Justice: The college kid in Tennessee who correctly guessed the hometown of Wasilla’s ex-mayor Sarah Palin has his verdict. David Kernell, the 22-year-old who “hacked” into Palin’s Yahoo email — which she was illegally using to conduct government business — is officially guilty on two counts.
Oh look, it’s another million-word liberal magazine article about snowbilly grifter Sarah Palin! Did you read it? We scanned it, as a service to busy Wonkette people who simply can’t afford to give up an hour of porn or solitaire or whatever, and the only interesting part we discovered was that the Tea Party Teabaggers [...]
Grifter queen Sarah Palin is speaking at some elitist college thing in California, and she is not going to let those pointy heads treat her like a common community-college dingbat and professional quitter … which is exactly what she is, but so what, she is also SARAH PALIN, the teevee celebrity. And thanks to some [...]
Hilarious Weirdo Leaves Comment About Sarah Palin’s House (?)
by Ken Layne
What kind of insanity is Sarah Palin causing today? We were reading Wonkette alum Juli Weiner’s thing at the Vanity Fair website about the Great Home-Depot Pre-Assembled Board-Wall of Wasilla when we stumbled upon a comment that may or may not have been translated from the original Latvian. Does Sarah Palin “takes off her cloths, [...]