• February 12, 2012

somali pirates

ARGHH MATEY

Obama Is Actually a Somali Pirate Child

by Ken Layne

12:45 pm April 20, 2011

Shocking new photographs from Barack Obama’s African Past reveal that he was actually a Somali pirate in Hawaii during his youth, the feared “Child Scallywag of Honolulu.” Here, pictured with Liz Phair in the early 1990s, the dread pirate O’bamar prepares to raid a British crown colony of landlubbers and then head off to the [...]

DAILY BRIEFING

Gitmo-As-We-Know-It Will Officially Span Two Decades

by Juli Weiner

8:40 am November 18, 2009

A lot of gynecologists and other lady and/or oncological doctors disagree completely with yesterday’s new things about mammography announcement. [New York Times] Obama admitted that Gitmo is not going to close by January. This makes keeping his promise to close Gitmo by January a considerably tenuous one. [Washington Post] Between fraud and anything having to [...]

DAILY BRIEFING

Obama Continues To Do Things In China, All This Week

by Juli Weiner

8:40 am November 17, 2009

Obama and Chinese president Hu Jintao had the best conversation ever, according to the brief, detail-less talking points Obama gave to reporters right afterward. [New York Times] If you are a lady over 40 and/or a lady over 50, there have been important changes re: scheduling your no-longer-annual mammogram! [Washington Post] Obama says that he [...]

DAILY BRIEFING

Former AIG Head Maurice R. Greenberg Is Up To His Old Tricks—Because He Is 84 Years Old, See?

by Juli Weiner

8:38 am October 27, 2009

Maurice R. Greenberg, the impossibly geriatric former head of AIG, has been quietly luring young, unsuspecting insurance execs to his new firm. [New York Times] Harry Reid promised out loud that the new health care bill will have a public option, which means it actually might! [Washington Post] Like half an hour ago, NASA sent [...]