• February 14, 2012

speaker of the house

Barack Obama and John Boehner can’t seem to make their relationship “work,” physically or otherwise, probably because John Boehner is a Sagittarius and Barack Obama is a Communist — two zodiac signs that are just not compatible, according to “the Politico,” a publishing house for mediation-related guidebooks such as Loving Others, Loving Yourself and You [...]

Woman politician “Madam Speaker” Nancy Pelosi is doing woman things again! Like, spending too much money, dagnabbit. She’s spending $18,736 per month on a fancy suite of offices in San Francisco — liberal San Francisco, of all places — and that’s (according to Roll Call) nearly twice as much as the next-most-expensive district office rent, [...]

It’s official: Nancy Pelosi has not one but TWO opponents in a “hotly” contested race for her Congressional district. In addition to Dana Walsh, the last specimen of a doomed and rare species called the “Bay Area Republican” which is hunted for sport on the banks of San Francisco’s mandatory nude heroin-needle beaches, this woman [...]

Remember how much fun the primaries were, with the math and numbers and the whole “If Hillary gets enough superdelegates then two plus two will equal five, within the confines of Michigan and Florida before May 31 divided by two”? Dust off your abacus because now your favorite News Analysts will be giving themselves mental [...]