President Obama has finally decided to end his ill-begotten idea to make war on Iraq, and he will be joining anti-war activist George W. Bush and motivational speaker Sarah Palin on the ol’ public speaking circuit to announce that this Mission is Accomplished. WAIT. To announce that this “Task” is “Finished.” There we go. Wouldn’t [...]
Defense Secretary Robert Gates addressed this week’s Boy Scout Jamboree, the most important event in our nation’s history, because SOMEBODY couldn’t bother to come. The Wall Street Journal described Gate’s speech as “cranky” — just because he attacked the character of innocent young (non Boy Scout) Americans, who are “increasingly physically unfit.”
Idaho congressional candidate Vaughn Ward was so happy when Sarah Palin came to endorse him and help him raise $50,000 from nearby fat-cat potato planters last week, even though Sarah Palin lost her clothes and had to steal new ones, probably from Vaughn Ward. Ward, considered the Favorite going into tomorrow’s GOP primary, may be [...]
Hmm: “RALEIGH, N.C. — The U.S. Army plans to prevent media from covering Sarah Palin’s appearance at Fort Bragg, fearing the event will turn into political grandstanding against President Barack Obama, officials said Thursday.” This will have two effects: it (a) won’t prevent the media from covering Sarah Palin’s appearance at Fort Bragg and (b) [...]
Yeah so former Nixon speechwriter and the *original* New York Times “lightning rod conservative” columnist William “Bill” Safire died yesterday. Whaddaya want us to do about it, jesus… Anyway, Gawker found the most interesting/brief way to Honor this, the most recent political death: with this TERRIFYING bit of alternate history Safire drafted for Nixon in [...]
If there’s a single winner tonight, it’s the photo to your left. The fact that one can type “old-timey doctor” into something called “Google Images” and produce THIS… what a great country. No. What a great Internet. None of this is true. But we digress! Health care speech: Obama started a full 900 million seconds [...]
At this actual moment a bunch of congressmen and senators are getting high in their offices before sitting down to listen to this nut, Obama, try to explain yet again why he wants to kill, literally murder with jackknives and poisons and AIDS, the Greatest Generation & babies. Is that any kind of “good” public [...]
What can Obama do about this health care bill now! Such gridlock, heading into this high-stakes autumnal session of Congress: the liberals want one kind of bill, the moderates want another kind that pretends to cut spending but really just spends a lot more, and the conservatives want no bill, unless it’s a 100% cap [...]
We have been trying to find a full clip of Ted Kennedy’s “concession” speech to Jimmy Carter at the 1980 Democratic convention, which is about as fine a political speech as you’re likely to hear, ever, and most famous for its “The Dream Will Never Die” ending, which is… just… MMMM. It was so incredible [...]
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy Oh yeah you might want to see this, right? It’s Sarah Palin’s “goodbye and fuck you all, except the military families, you keep us safe” speech. Check it out!
Jon Favreau can make anybody feel like a failure, because he is super young and successful and takes excellent transcription notes from President Obama’s Teleprompter. If you’re an aspiring young speechwriter, you look at him and go “Shit by the time he was my age he was already FAMOUS” and if you are an old [...]
One fellow on the Internet is very upset that greatest hero ever George W. Bush charged hundreds of dollars for tickets to his “rodeo speech” in some wingnut Oklahoma town on July 4, but whatever, money is cool. Your Wonkette, however, is very disappointed in Junior for something else, his biggest mistake since Iraq and [...]
One year ago yesterday minus a day, John McCain delivered the speech of the century to a small smattering of embittered retirees haunting an abandoned Bingo hall in Louisiana. Meanwhile, a young upstart Muslin named Hussein “Barack” Obama cast a sorcerer’s spell over a large crowd of innocents in St. Paul and told them that [...]
Embedded video from CNN Video Wonkette’s favorite girlfriend Jeanne Moos quoted our own Ken Layne referring to Obama’s “Ich bin ein Muslin” speech in Cairo yesterday. Other people, it appears, had the same clever catchphrase rattling around their skulls but whatever, Wonkette wins the Jeanne Moos News Hour. [CNN]
Former George Bush Jr. press secretary and current Mark Penn employee (as part of the Microtrend “My Concubines”), Dana Perino, simply does not care for this Barack Obama going to a Muslim country and addressing Muslims directly as Muslims, because somehow being aware of various cultural backgrounds is a zero-sum game, and for every Muslim [...]
