sports
For a while there, we all thought the U.S. soccer team just might make it out of the round of 16 and into the quarterfinals … ha ha, no. But now we have all these Americans who suddenly love their country, who spent all day Saturday glued to the teevee watching this Euro-Latinno sport of [...]
Greetings, sports fans. Here’s your update about sports teams in the great District of Columbia. Even though the Caps suffered a crushing defeat and everyone was sad, all is not lost on the DC sports front. The District still has two other mediocre sports teams you can watch all summer long: The Washington Nationals, our [...]
And now for your weekly update from the Wonkette Sunday Sports Desk: some people are losing some games, others are winning, whatever. But this weekend was a treat for the seven or eight Washington Nationals season-ticket holders, whose perforated booklets landed on the annual “Beat That Gal (Daughter? Wife? It Doesn’t Matter) Next To You” [...]
NRSC head “Big John” Cornyn of Texas has been having some difficulties on the Twitter Machine in the last 24 hours. He has been attempting to show Americans that he loves college basketball, just like normal people do. Yesterday he wished good luck to two teams that had played the night before, which he later [...]
Thursday, April 1: Hate your job? That sucks. But, hey, because misery loves company, workplace vent site IHateMy9to5.com is hosting a vent session/comedy hour at Wonderland on Thursday night. No, there will not be a giant piñata that looks like your boss, but there will be food and drink specials from 6:30PM-7:30PM. Hopefully your 9-5 [...]
The greatest news for America last week was that unstable, obese radio junkie Rush Limbaugh had snuck his way into a group of investors fixing to purchase St. Louis’ NFL team, the Rams. What a straightforward way to piss off an entire major city! Upon hearing the news, black players in the league were like, [...]
So overweight former baseball technician Curt Schilling will not be America’s new beloved Republican Ted Kennedy after all. Here are the known conditions that might have been factors in his proto-failure: He’s not even actually a registered Republican, which many political Beltway D.C. Boston insiders speculated would interfere with his ability to run on the [...]
The race to fill Ted Kennedy’s ample seat in the Senate is heating up like a corpse in the summer tide! (Sorry, Denby.) Curt Schilling, world champion quarterback for Boston’s “Mighty Ducks,” loves George W. Bush and jacking off in bloodstained sock, so he is qualified to be the Republican candidate. Schilling, heir to his [...]
Likely GOP nominee for president in 2008 and self-loathing Virginian Jew George Allen has landed hisself a fancy book deal, following in the footsteps of his idol, Ken Layne. It is titled The Triumph of Character: What Washington Can Learn from the World of Sports, so readers should expect an aesthetic mash-up of Matt Christopher [...]
So you hate America? Then you must love soccer! Soccer, or “foot-ball” in Latin, is a game Americans force their children to play (badly) for a few years before they graduate to “real sports,” such as driving to Checkers in Ford F-350s while drinking a Big Gulp of chocolate sauce. Still, not that many people [...]
Hey nerds how much do you love NBA Finals season, hmmm? Feast your eyes on this cute thing, which involves two political ladies trash-talking over their basketball teams. Maxine Waters won’t even shake her friend’s hand, that is how serious she is about this dispute. [The YouTube]
