It’s always good to talk about edumacation, right? Is our children learning, and such? Well Barack Obama certainly did all that last night — but he actually went so far as to blame dumb American children for the global economic collapse, which was actually designed and directed by the red right hands of Wall Street, [...]
Did you love Michele Bachmann’s super crazy web-cam deal last night, when she literally spoke to her Spirit Devil for something like seven minutes, as it hovered several feet away from the video camera? Well then, you will certainly want to watch it again, at the office. You know how cats sometimes “see something” in [...]
Granted, this is limited to people who admitted to watching the State of the Union, but those who did say they overwhelmingly approved of the mish-mash of Sputnik and Spending Cuts and “Clean Coal” that Obama presented to the nation as maybe some way that people might eventually get a job in America. 92% is [...]
His fellow Americans, there is an economy, and we should have more of it. Because if we don’t have more economy, some other country will (Russia, because the economy is actual a spaceship). Yes, the president of the United States is doing his duty to tell Congress about what’s he’s up to these days, so [...]
8:30 PM — We flip on the DirecTeeVee News Mix and there’s the shrunken head of Wolf Blitzer, jabbering dumbly about Michele Bachmann, who has replaced “Parker Spitzer” as America’s Favorite Weirdo To Respond To the State of the Union. What a delightful evening we all have in store! 8:31 PM — Oh, how will [...]
It seems like just last January when we last gathered around our laptops in the night and thrilled to the current president reading something or other at this one place. And tonight, the magic will happen again! Who will win for best actress? It could be Natalie Portman and it could be whatever fat white [...]
For the first time, it will not only be a question of who is in it, but what. Unfortunately, the Washington Post has replaced this photo and caption. Whatever could have been the matter with it? Health news is just as important as politics.
What will be overshadowed by the soaring rhetoric in tonight’s State of the Union speech? Nothing too interesting. Obama will be calling for a freeze on spending for five years and a ban on earmarks. In other words, the only things Republicans seem to care about passing these days, besides that single pointless bill against [...]
Republican time travelers have a very strong argument against Barack Obama’s state of the union speech — the speech he will give tonight — and it basically goes like this: “Oh yeah, well then why doesn’t everyone have a job?” If, by chance, he announces that everyone as of this moment has a steady job, [...]
America hasn’t had much in the way of an environmentalist president since Richard Nixon and before that Theodore Roosevelt, so we weren’t exactly expecting Barack Obama to do anything bold or visionary when it came to such unimportant things as the air we breathe and the water we drink and the Earth we live upon. [...]
George Will likes politics, but he does not like politics when everyone is not wearing a top hat and legislators arrive to the Capitol by auto-mobile instead of Negro-drawn carriage. “Between Jefferson and Woodrow Wilson, no one delivered this in person. They sent their report to Congress in writing. But now we’ve turned this into [...]
The State of the Union address is coming so soon, you guys! It will probably be like every other State of the Union since forever, in that it will be boring political bullshit and not even the people paid to care will be able to remember a single word of it two days later. (Haha [...]
Samuel Alito is never going to a State of the Union address ever again, because he found out people don’t like it when Supreme Court justices disagree outwardly with stuff the president says, like he did at the last one. Alito does not want to sit there “like the proverbial potted plant,” he said, because [...]
Clarence Thomas skipped the State of the Union so he could sit on his sofa and soak his feet in a bucket of “self-loathing black man.” [Weekly Standard] Most Improved Wino Nancy Pelosi spent 100,000 smackaroos (USD) on vodka nips and airplane pretzels. [RedState] We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the [...]
John King! He is that CNN guy who hosts that thing, and he’s married to whatsername! And now he is departing that thing to host some other thing, leaving behind a bleeding wound in the heart of CNN’s Sunday morning programming. Naturally, this is all the fault of the orange-headed former Mexican-hating space entrepreneur, Lou [...]
