• February 14, 2012

state of the union

Oh Tweety. It’s fine, really. If we were Boomers, we would forget that people were black sometimes too.

Samuel Alito was on his absolute worst behavior last night, mouthing “not true, not true” when Obama criticized last week’s Supreme Court decision to allow corporations to download elections and politicians from iTunes. Anyway, sad thing for many South Carolinans today, when they eventually find out they cannot elect Samuel Alito. [TPMtv]

For the record, Obama is totally into jobs now, not health care. [New York Times] Obama also called for a repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, which means all those Facebook petitions worked!! [Los Angeles Times] Meet this latest thing you will own! It is called the iPad, and has literally no function other than [...]

So Obama said he didn’t like TARP but thought it was necessary. This led Chris Matthews to say, “I forgot he was black tonight, for an hour.” Ha ha, well hopefully he remembers now. America’s future depends on him knowing this. [Think Progress]

WELL THAT SUCKED, with all the jokes and the clapping! Poop all over that! Let’s see how horribly this went, by finding out what Wolf Blitzer and Chuck Todd and hmm, maybe Brit Hume think? Oh wait Brit Hume is dead, or at least retired, which is a slight to all Americans who won’t be [...]

Whoa hey Sara has to go, time for a new liveblog! Did you hear the part where Obama promised to drill offshore? Go nuts, baby! Also he wants to double exports. This only seems plausible if we can export unemployment. Can we export unemployment?

God, Keith Olbermann hates the word Zeitgeist so much, and yet he keeps using it because he has to! This is exactly like the president always borrowing the money from the Chinese, to keep Wall Street happy. Let’s see what pathetic excuses he has for his terrible failure to solve all the problems in America [...]

Are you DRUNK YET YOU DRUNKS? Your Wonkette is drinking a 40! Oh wait, those are just two “24s”… which means… 32 ounces less beer, total. Hooray! Well let’s tune in to CNN and MSNBC and see how long it takes us to get through these. We’ll have new liveblogs every half-hour or so tonight, [...]

Wee hew, it has been nearly one whole year since newly minted President Barack Obama gave a Not-State-of-the-Union speech, in which he discussed how “resolve” and “green energy” were going to save our economy. Remember this speech, when everybody still sort of had hope, and thought maybe they could get a “job” with the Obama [...]

HOORAY! REITERATIONS! “Despite the uncertain fate of health-care legislation — Obama’s top domestic priority — the president is not expected to call for a precise way forward, although he will reiterate his commitment to the cause.” At this point, if you were a Democratic congressman or senator, why would you stick your neck out on [...]

In his State of the Union Wednesday, Obama will announce a spending freeze for many of America’s domestic programs. As these programs do not include Lost, no one will care. [New York Times] The US is holding a conference at the UN in March in which ten countries will try to figure out how to [...]

Everyone very politely say “hello” to John King, who will be taking over journalism now that Lou Dobbs is no longer with us. King’s current gig is hosting State of the Union, which exists. According to Michael Calderone, one of “the good ones” at POLITICO: “The move reflects the network’s stated ambitions to be viewed [...]

Aaugh, David Brooks, cruel temptor! He writes these laughable columns that say “maybe the President should take a cautious, incrementalist approach to address the SWEEPING TSUNAMI OF FINANCIAL RUIN that threatens to cripple America for a generation,” but then he talks such hilarious smack about Bobby Jindal. So for today, Brooks is an alright guy. [...]

This ad and another one like it have apparently been plastering the conservative Internets today in the Louisiana Governor’s latest “viral marketing” move for his nascent 2012 presidential campaign. Jindal will be delivering the response to Barack Obama’s make-believe State of the Union address tonight, so this is basically his big national debutante ball, and [...]

It’s been a long hard road, people. We’ve had some hard times, havin’ some hard times still. But fellow Americans, one thing is true, so undeniably true: George W. Motherfucking Bush Junior is gone. Yes he is! Feels good. Feels good knowing that ignorant motherfucker is back in Dallas, let Texas have him back, right? [...]