supreme court
Other ways in which Scalia is exactly like that irritating uncle of yours: Chief Justice Roberts has a light, witty touch, while the laughter that follows a long hypothetical question from Justice Breyer can feel like an expression of relief. Justice Scalia, by contrast, will repeat jokes mercilessly, raising questions about whether he has artificially [...]
At Roberts’ confirmation hearings, one of the members of his family that he introduced to the Senators was a cousin named Jean Podrasky. [...] Podrasky is gay, as Roberts knows, she says. She lives in San Francisco with her longtime girlfriend. Would she like to be able to get married someday? “Yes.” Has she ever [...]
According to Justice Antonin Scalia, who will only rule on court cases involving robots if the Constitution lists the EXACT model number and specifications of said robot in the text, the Constitution is for men who happen to be heterosexual and NOBODY ELSE, so other humans should just “get over it.” “Certainly the Constitution does [...]
Word is spread through the land that the Daoist master of South Carolina, Alvin Greene, is running for a special election to the South Carolina state House. But try to tell that to him. “The filing closes next week and that’s when everybody finds out who has filed,” he explained in one of his cosmic [...]
Hey look, Lou Dobbs is alive! Also, we did not know Michele Bachmann is teaching Constitution Sports to her fellow members of Congress, but apparently that is happening too, with Antonin Scalia, who is not, you know, supposed to be partisan about things; but it’s hard when all your friends want you to come to [...]
The U.S. Supreme Court is and will continue to be very important in deciding cases that will determine the future of the technology and the Internet, i.e., the future itself. But 72-year-old Justice Stephen Breyer readily admits that he and his colleagues have no idea how this “Digital Surfing Board” works or why people use [...]
Why did your Wonkette attend the National Italian American Foundation’s 35th Pasta Gala last Saturday? Honestly, all we wanted was a photograph of Yogi Berra that we could give to our grandparents. Did Yogi Berra even show up, though? Of course not, so we had to hang out with Scalia and his saggy neck fat [...]
Antonin Scalia was spotted giving Elena Kagan “a lesson” about shootin’ crap at a shooting “club” last week, according to The Daily Caller, which has set up a tin-can telephone at the bottom of Tucker Carlson’s treehouse to receive such tips. Clarence Thomas is gonna be so pissed when he finds out his blood brother [...]
Lillian McEwen used to date Clarence Thomas (EWW!), but according to the Washington Post, she didn’t get the chance to testify at his confirmation hearings even though he never raped her. She is now “breaking her silence,” however, because she is “shopping to publishers” a memoir heard about that weird thing his wife did to [...]
Remember Ralph Reed, shameless leader of ’90s boy band “the Christian Coalition” and smooth-faced huckster for Casino Jesus? Your book reviewer doesn’t spend an unhealthy amount of time thinking about Ralph Reed, but he occasionally wonders, “How does Ralph Reed spend his time when he’s not manufacturing rube hysteria and gobbling up Jack Abramoff lobbying [...]
At her debate, Christine O’Donnell couldn’t come up with the name of a recent Supreme Court decision with which she disagreed, so why not ask this question of the dumb Republican candidate in your race, everyone? That’s what Congressman John Adler did against his opponent, former Philadelphia Eagles tackle Jon Runyan. Hey, at least this [...]
America’s top J.D.-D.D.S. Orly Taitz has somehow lost her chance to appeal the $20,000 fine levied on her by a federal judge in October for filing “frivolous” litigation that the LSM doesn’t want you to know about. Apparently the Supreme Court does not want to tear this woman apart, in what would be the most [...]
There she is, Miss Supreme Court. There she is, your ideal. At long last, Elena Kagan has gone from the cocoon of Senate confirmation hearings and emerged a beautiful judicial butterfly. In what is now a great American tradition, Kagan made sure not to answer a single question during the entire marathon, and now the [...]
Senate Democrats and Maine’s two Communist Republican ladies voted to give money to the states, hooray! This means that state governments won’t have to lay everybody off. Olympia Snowe said that “this should be sort of the final down payment,” which means that…the Federal government now owns the states, having bought them on the installment [...]
