Two House Republicans weren’t around to strategically hand tissues to John Boehner on Wednesday as the House session opened. That wasn’t a problem, because our new speaker was able to compose himself, remembering he had to deliver a full short speech before he could hit the red wine/bronzer celebration cocktails. Unfortunately, this meant these bros, [...]
Our modern-day Richard Dawson had a single tip for every single female child in the Capitol building yesterday. And then he traded a three-year-old a mint for a piece of paper. (Watch it here, the brilliantly titled “Biden Smooth Talks Senator’s Son.”) If you were watching them read the thing on C-SPAN today, you will [...]
Do you know how many tourists there are in America? That’s right, fifteen hundred billion and seven. Shortly before Inauguration Day, they will pile en masse into dreadful charter buses and ride to Washington D.C., where they will down in heaps of savage man-eating rats while toasting the swearing-in of our first black president.
