taxes
Congress’ childish “recess” is over, which means all of your favorite politicians are returning to our nation’s Swamp Capital, in their private jumbo jets. We imagine they are glad to be back in Washington, where they do not have to talk to the Real Americans back home who are concerned about “the Mosks, the Messicans, [...]
Recent poll results confirm that America’s taste-makers, the Ohioans, believe that Congressional Minority Leader John Boehner is “just tooooo fuckin’ orange.” Why do they believe this? Oh, because they can see, with their buckeyes. Now one of Ohio’s libtard groups is using the poll results to their own ends, pointing out that Boehner’s push to [...]
This weekend, Teabaggers descended on our peaceful capital from a mystical land that taxed forgot. Thus, when they attempted to partake in some local cuisine at a college deli, they were shocked to find they had to pay a city tax on paper bags. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE THEM TO BURN THEIR PRECIOUS LIBERTY IN, [...]
South Carolina gubernatorial nominee Nikki Haley is best known for being a Republican MINORITY and being accused of having sex with people. But also: “Haley, a fiscal conservative and tea party favorite, cites her experience as an accountant on the campaign trail.” So it is funny that she never does her taxes on time. She [...]
Remember the Islands of Doctor Jindal? Well it turns out that the future president of ‘Merica may be wrong after all. Washington elites Several scientists from local universities and aquatic research centers have signed letters and sent postcards saying he is an idiot who likes to wear fur coats while looking good on the teevee.
The entire Western Hemisphere is unemployed but surprise surprise, the U.S. Senate is too busy playing grab-ass with hott celebs to even feign interest. [The Caucus] Matt published super-private emails sent to him by Jonathan Strong, of Daily Caller JournoList muckraking fame. And now everyone knows Jonathan Strong’s secret phone number, so dial those digits [...]
“Where’s the ice cream?” “It’s CUSTARD!” Uggh. Joe Biden went to a frozen dairy purveyor in Wisconsin this weekend, and when he asked how much he owed for this photo op custard stuff, some guy in a stupid hat spit out some dumb quip about taxes. So Joe Biden said a swear so that everyone [...]
Virginia used to have a neat logo featuring a Roman goddess-warrior and her exposed nipple. Thanks to some Ashcroftesque re-branding, this perverted wardrobe malfunction exists no more. [Think Progress] Woah, Matt Yglesias and Ezra Klein went to a decadent White House staff party! (Apparently all the babes wanted a picture of Ezra, while poor Matt [...]
Today is Tax Day and to celebrate this holy day when The Man takes all your hard-earned money and uses it to fund unemployment insurance, health care and other disastrous things, plenty of restaurants in DC are offering tax-themed specials. Why wasn’t filling out the census this much fun? We do not know.
Surprise, the teabaggers don’t know what teabaggers are supposed to believe, either. A new CBS poll proves that the majority of teabaggers have no complaints about the amount of taxes they pay. Which kind of makes sense, considering the low rates they pay and the tax cuts they’ve seen this year. Also, Republicans and Democrats [...]
Whoa you guys, the AP discovered a COMPLETELY SECRET bit of evidence just before tax day to get you all hot and bothered! About 47% of people will pay no federal income tax this year, because they’re all criminals! More or less like last year and the year before that, but maybe you didn’t know! [...]
