ted kennedy
Mitt Romney, who was slightly more humanoid in 1994 than he is today, also thought blind trusts, of which he has one, and which he passionately defended during Thursday night’s Jacksonville debate, were terrible, devious things. How exactly did he put it? Oh yes, a blind trust is an “age-old ruse.”
It seems reasonable to predict that about ninety-nine out of every hundred news analysis pieces about Mitt Romney from now until the general election are going to be making the argument that Mittens is a black hole for strongly-held convictions who appears to be running for office since it just sort of seems like the [...]
Here is some hilarious archaeological evidence of hair gel-powered mannequin Mitt Romney’s lifelong struggle to convey a basic sense of humanity courtesy of the year 1994 when he was campaigning for Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat: an energetic high school nerd interviewer lets candidate Romney rattle off his talking points before asking him whether he likes [...]
How do you prove you hate “job creation” in America? According to a new GOP commercial attacking Elizabeth Warren, you do this by expressing sympathy and support for the jobless Americans taking part in the Occupy protests nationwide. The ad was created by Karl Rove’s anus Crossroads Grassroots Policy Strategies, some wingnut consulting firm that [...]
Ted Kennedy is dead, so we are now able to look at his (albeit very redacted) FBI files to see some of the very Kennedy sorts of things he did over the years. For example: An ambassador’s ex-wife said he and his brothers had sex parties with Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr. and Marilyn Monroe [...]
America’s most adorable former President, Jimmy Carter, is making the teevee rounds today because he has a new book he wants to sell. But teevee production staffs do not mind all the work they’re going to have to do trying to get that old-peanut stench out of their couches, as Carter seems to have drunk [...]
We all know that Orrin Hatch loves Judaism and singing about his favorite holiday, Hanukkah. But apparently he loves all other religions too. And thus he supports the rights of Muslims to build a community center in Manhattan, if they want to, he said in an interview with a Utah Fox affiliate. No biggie. “And [...]
How did we miss this? Earlier in the week it was reported that Sharron Angle agreed in a 2009 interview that there are “domestic enemies” within the “walls of the Senate and the Congress.” Wow, Americans are really dumb! You want to kill the terrorists, you guys, not elect them to high office. Unsurprisingly, because [...]
Scott Brown, remember that guy? He was the Naked Senator, the 41st Vote, the 57th state, all the teabagger dreams realized and brought to life in the handsome form of some hairy-bellied Golem from the pages of a 1980s issue of Cosmopolitan. It was as if he drove that dumb mini pickup straight out to [...]
We assume that guest editor Josh Fruhlinger knew all along, ever since he wrote this post about some mean and very very naked state senator three years ago, that this same asshole would sooner or later win Ted Kennedy’s (and John F. Kennedy’s before him) Massachusetts Senate seat after the legend’s death, severely endangering the [...]
Are you feeling nostalgic for Election Night 2008? This is almost exactly like that night, with a few small differences. For one, it’s again illegal to be black in America, so go back to Socialism-land, Rahm! Also, Andrew Sullivan may move back to Canada, he’s so bummed. There’s also a very good chance the beloved [...]
Hey, does anyone know anything about this Martha Coakley lady? Well in that case, here’s our campaign strategy: KENNEDY KENNEDY KENNEDY TED KENNEDY TED KENNEDYTED KENNEDYTED KENNEDYTED KENNEDY TED KENNEDY. Then say “Swift Boat!” too, because that’s what they did to dead KENNEDYTED back in aught-four. It was terrible! [DSCC]
President Walnuts does not think that dead Ted Kennedy likes this Senate health care bill very much — not because of the bill, just because it’s so partisan. Yep, that does suck. It’s what happens when the other party doesn’t negotiate in good faith, or is just retarded. Why is John McCain being so mean [...]
Ted Kennedy’s been dead for what, a decade or so, in Kennedy-zeitgeist years? It is high time America’s other Senators begin tactlessly speculating about who will get his ritzy deluxe Capitol Building office! Here are the specs: third floor, the Capitol Building, Mall views, “a rustic coffee table that appeared to be hewn out of [...]
