ted kennedy
Ha ha, Michael Dukakis loses again. This bro, former DNC chair Paul Kirk, was more or less picked by the Kennedy family. “Deval, darling, appoint this human, we used to summer together,” Vicki Kennedy urged the Governor of Massachusetts. But it was probably a good pick, because Kirk is familiar with Ted Kennedy’s staff and [...]
So overweight former baseball technician Curt Schilling will not be America’s new beloved Republican Ted Kennedy after all. Here are the known conditions that might have been factors in his proto-failure: He’s not even actually a registered Republican, which many political Beltway D.C. Boston insiders speculated would interfere with his ability to run on the [...]
Um… Cosmopolitan has WON whatever time of day allotted for sex! Let’s also throw in 1982, Cosmopolitan has also WON 1982, for this was the year when Scott Brown, the Republican running around in bad faith pretending he has a chance at winning Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat, was awarded the magazine’s prestigious “America’s Sexiest Man” [...]
MASS. SENATE PASSES ‘TED KENNEDY MEMORIAL PARTISAN WARM-BODY ACT,’ HOORAY! Oh good, now Gov. Deval Patrick should be able to sign this quick fixeroo tomorrow and Michael Dukakis or whoever can putz around Washington for a few months, casting a crucial vote or two occasionally. Also, pundits can stop saying, “But the Democrats only have [...]
Former Massachusetts Gov. Michael Dukakis, who one time — for fun — let a black inmate run free so as to rape the white ladies, could be the next fake Ted Kennedy, for a few months! He is “the name most prominently mentioned” appointee for Gov. Deval Patrick, who awaits a bill allowing him to [...]
Did you dress as Professor Dumbledore or a sneering Bank Goblin for yesterday’s midnight release party of the “new” Ted Kennedy memoir? What? You went as Gandalf? HE’S NOT EVEN *IN* THIS BOOK YOU IDIOT. But yes: Ted Kennedy’s new book is out today, and every journalist and blogger is reading it in bed, looking [...]
A special “Welcome Back” to America’s congress, Congress, who have just returned from the least fun recess ever. They will now be expected to figure out a health care plan for a citizenry who insist that eating each other’s limbs is an effective means by which to debate health care plans. [Washington Post] People who [...]
It has only been a week — one week — since Ted Kennedy died, and already some gal has exploited this by declaring her candidacy for the special election happening like 2 minutes from now. Her name is Martha Coakley and she has been the state’s Attorney General since 2006. We checked out her Wikipedia [...]
The race to fill Ted Kennedy’s ample seat in the Senate is heating up like a corpse in the summer tide! (Sorry, Denby.) Curt Schilling, world champion quarterback for Boston’s “Mighty Ducks,” loves George W. Bush and jacking off in bloodstained sock, so he is qualified to be the Republican candidate. Schilling, heir to his [...]
Democrats have gone from 0-60 in their mastery of the important political skill of “subtly exploiting a Kennedy death.” Yesterday, you’ll recall, America’s most unsuccessful technically successful senator Harry Reid announced that, uhh yeah, we’re all acutely aware that Ted Kennedy’s death is going to help our chances of doing what we want with health [...]
“Q: How will U.S. Sen. (Edward) Kennedy’s death affect things? “A: I think it’s going to help us.” Maybe the Democrats should consider finding a somewhat more artful point-man on the (totally necessary!) “we are going to exploit the shit out of Ted Kennedy’s death” communications front. Or just a new Senate majority leader? [Ben [...]
Ted Kennedy might have a mean old liberal Democrat replacement in the Senate soon! All the Massachusetts legislature must do is change the comical law that Ted Kennedy forced it to enact in 2004, the one that prevented Gov. Mitt Romney from appointing a Republican to President John Kerry’s Senate seat. The legislature has moved [...]
GEORGE BUSH SR. SIMPLY WILL NOT ATTEND THIS FUNERAL: George H.W. Bush, an evil oil baron and son to a Nazi financier, will not make it to Ted Kennedy’s funeral in Boston Saturday, even though every other living president will be there. A spokesperson says that the old coot “feels his son’s presence would ‘amply [...]
