ted kennedy
Hooray! (PSST HOW AMBIGUOUS IS THE TERM “REMISSION”??): “Sen. Edward Kennedy’s brain cancer is in remission and the Massachusetts Democrat is expected back in the Senate after the Memorial Day recess, according to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid. Sen. Reid (D-Nev.) said Tuesday that he spoke with Kennedy’s wife and was told the 77-year-old lawmaker [...]
Everyone remembers Dallas, Georgia’s mayor, Boyd Austin, whose wacky friends are always fiddlin’ with his Facebook status and posting confusing jokes that are just comprehensible enough to be considered in poor taste. Boyd: be warned that there is this uneducated boomer film critic in New York who will probably write a book about you when [...]
Oh boy we better not make a funny about this or fuckface porn addict David Denby may be compelled to shit out another $15.95 pamphlet about how the Internet has ruined his dinner with Michael Kinsley. So, here is “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” star Ted Kennedy just cold bein’ alive and outside [...]
David Denby, noted fruit-sack, has forever tarnished the name of Ted Kennedy. Once, we all knew Kennedy as a lovable, happy-go-lucky boozebag and a very capable senator. But now when you hear “Ted Kennedy,” you think of a tragically emasculated old invalid suffering the endless indignity of blogger insults. Why did David Denby have to [...]
Alright, so we caved. We were at Borders and noticed New Yorker film critic David Denby’s new book, Snark, about how he hates bloggers, Sarah Palin, Maureen Dowd, Tom Wolfe and others for the exact same undefined reason. We actually bought the book (YOU’RE WELCOME DENBY) and were planning to skim for the Wonkette part, [...]
Jesus Christ, Caroline Kennedy: next time you think about running for any office (/harassing blind people for Senate jobs), just ignore it and throw a fundraiser for poor illiterate kids or whatever instead? Her surprise dropout yesterday, once she realized that she was out of her element and/or NOT THE PICK, has taken yet another [...]
OH NO TED KENNEDY: He was cold lunchin’ with the bigwigs in the Capitol’s Statuary Hall when he collapsed. It was apparently a seizure, and he got taken to the hospital. Also, for those Robert Byrd fans who freak out any time they hear about an old person falling over, fear not, Senator Byrd is [...]
Rod Blagojevich couldn’t make it himself to today’s Senate swearing-in ceremony — why would he, right? He’s not even a Senator!! — but his Taint, his grimy grimy taint, was omnipresent in the chamber, and it reeked. After thoroughgoing racist Harry “Bull Connor” Reid made a black person leave Capitol Hill due to the color [...]
Now that dying Ted Kennedy has forced his shy niece Caroline to become a Senator for the sake of the family name, the entire global media plans to exploit her (and maybe she will even cry!) These reporters in upstate New York, who probably all smell and have back hair, must learn how to talk [...]
Senator Orrin Hatch is an old conservative Republican from Utah, the most conservative Republican state in the country: so it’s no surprise that in a moment of weakness the balladeer of the Senate would pen a sweet, romantic ode to one of his male colleagues. Apparently he is great pals with Ted Kennedy, whose battle [...]
Talk about guilt by association! Mouse over the name of a convicted child rapist and what pops up? The photo of America’s favorite drunken uncle, Ted Kennedy, who was never once convicted of such a crime. FOR SHAME, YAHOO, HE HAS CANCER AND EVERYTHING. Thanks to Wonkette Mouseover Outrage Operative “Bobby” for bringing this grave [...]
Edward Kennedy is reportedly still alive after more than three hours of brain surgery today at Duke University. The 76-year-old senator will still need all kinds of chemo and radiation and god knows what else, but it is pretty much impossible to kill Ted Kennedy.
