teevee
CNN this year has posed a bold question: Is America ready for a TV news/chat/whatever show co-hosted by an ex-governor disgraced for patronizing prostitutes and a Pulitzer-prize winning columnist who hates both half-breeds and snowbillies? America has taken its time getting back to us on this, but we finally heard from them, and they said [...]
Frenzied teevee oaf Bill O’Reilly (of the beloved family sitcom The O’Reilly Factor) had a brainwave one day, possibly while overhearing his Lincoln Town Car chauffeur listening to the Ramones: Why not divide humanity into “Pinheads” and “Patriots?” Bill O’Reilly is a lot like Jesus, you see, who came to divide people into “patriots and [...]
Fifty years ago yesterday, Americans gathered around the boob tube to watch John Kennedy debate Richard Nixon. Richard Nixon was sweaty and forgot to powder his nose, so he lost for being so ugly — if he was handsome he probably would have won, which he eventually did, in 1968, “when it mattered.” Point is: [...]
Last-place cable news network CNN (which literally means “Cable News Network”) has a new boss, Ken Jautz from sleazeball-idiocracy sister station Headline News, which hasn’t broadcast any news beyond celebrity abortions, videos of animals farting and redneck baby-cannibalism trials since, we imagine, the first Gulf War. Jonathan Klein, the genius executive behind such hits as [...]
Hey check it out it is VBS TV interviewing GoProud fellow Jimmy LaSalvia. This very entertaining (and also informative!) video was co-produced by our very own Liz Glover. Watch it immediately.
Important grandma Sarah Palin was supposed to fly to LA last night to watch her daughter dance around like a common strumpet — even though Sarah would have been in constant danger of being assassinated by Hamas. Did you stay up all night long, fretting like a worrywart about Sarah Palin’s safety? That was very [...]
World’s worst mom Sarah Palin is bringing her Hollywood Values to Hollywood tonight for a taping of Bristol Palin’s new teen-pregnancy documentary, Dancing With the Stars. And security will be heavy, because come on, Sarah Palin is a celebrity. And if anything happens, god forbid, security at CBS Television City have reportedly been told that [...]
America’s most adorable former President, Jimmy Carter, is making the teevee rounds today because he has a new book he wants to sell. But teevee production staffs do not mind all the work they’re going to have to do trying to get that old-peanut stench out of their couches, as Carter seems to have drunk [...]
The Rev. Al Sharpton has created his own media company and will launch a Sunday-morning syndicated TV show, he told The Hollywood Reporter on Monday. The controversial civil rights advocate will unveil his 30-minute show, “Education Superhighway,” Thursday morning at the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation’s 40th Annual Legislative Conference. It’s already cleared in 150 markets, [...]
Oh, look, there is Bristol Palin in her square-dancin’ costume. Team Sarah is so happy for her! “Methinks she’s brushing up on her dancing skills in preparation for an Inaugural Ball,” says “Sharron,” who is some sort of medieval witch. Meanwhile, Mercede Johnston FINALLY addresses this major Dancing with the Stars thing, and it’s basically [...]
Bristol Palin is of course planning on showing off her lithe young body for the entertainment of millions of Americans on the hit new TV show Rubbing Yourself Up Against A Total Stranger With The Stars. This seems like it might actually contradict her stated life goal of convincing young girls to refrain from screwing [...]
Alaska’s First Family, the Palin-Johnstons, are at it again today with the expected news that Bristol Palin will perform on a reality teevee show. Were you hoping for Jersey Shore IV: Wasilla Dumpster Behind the Tattoo Parlor? Patience. For now, it’s Dancing With the Stars, ABC’s inexplicable hit from the 1990s about D-list media losers [...]
Glenn Beck and an army of Teabaggers are going to march on Washington on the anniversary of the “I Have a Dream” speech this weekend for some reason or another. Basically somebody at Beck headquarters said, “Let’s get some of those yelling people to yell about things on the National Mall, but let’s put Glenn [...]
