John McCain works every day with the only things he loves: domestic terrorists, Idaho bathroom goblins, KKK racists, child fuckers, international terrorists, oil companies, abortions, Mexicans, Saddam Hussein, etc. Quickly email this to everyone, using an AOL or Hotmail account, and add some ALL CAPS. [Reason]
Is this really it? The end of the debates, for this presidential race? It seems like only two years ago that these awful debates began — because that’s how long they’ve been going on, for two years. And now, it comes down to Two Men. One is an increasingly terrifying old lunatic who is probably [...]
You know how many figs John McCain gives about Bill Ayers? Not two of them, my friends! That is why he is honor-bound to discuss at length in tomorrow night’s debate how the hippie terrorist and Barack Obama were giving each other handjobs back in the 60s.
Oh and another PECULIAR thing happened today at the Confederate Racetrack, aside from Hank Williams Jr. trying to mate with Sarah Palin. Some deaf wingnuts in the crowd yelled for Palin to speak louder, prompting Palin to call them slimy troop-hating brown Osama terrorists in response. She did this because she is, what else, a [...]
Oh no, some sort of 9/11 is happening in downtown D.C. today: “Authorities have closed portions of two downtown Washington streets as they investigate the discovery of several containers carrying an unknown substance. D.C. fire department spokesman Alan Etter says the containers were found on a sidewalk midday Thursday at the corner of 15th and [...]
Here’s a clip from Fox News’ Fox & Friends program last Thursday in which they discuss a KFC opening in Fallujah, in Iraq. They are so excited about the fast food wage-slave chain being opened in this awful city, because it means “things are working” in Iraq, democracy and economics, what have you; the little [...]
Barack Obama is giving a speech about Iraq now, but we imagine it’s (a) a fancier version of this and (b) impossibly unfunny. Ugh, this guy. Jesus was a messiah too, you know, but at least he presented a mockable stereotype of himself — “God’s son,” ha ha. So instead we’ll tackle his new ad, [...]
Here’s a curious pairing of headlines from the Washington Post website. John McCain, as he has been and will continue doing for the next eight years, called Obama a softie who ignorantly treats our enemies like actual human beings. Obama thinks *talking* to dangerous regimes, in some form, will achieve anything? Like a truce or [...]
Our girlfriend Peggy Noonan has been more enjoyable than usual this year, as a tragically drawn-out Democratic primary battle provided her with endless opportunities to touch herself while Barack Obama spoke pretty things, and to then guiltily wash her hands and realize that Obama was, in fact, the Democrat and not Ronald Reagan and, indeed, [...]
Inexplicably retarded Missouri Republican Rep. Sam Graves is still attacking his Democratic opponent, Kay Barnes, and everyone who knows her, for being a bunch of white wine-swilling liberal transgender Christ-molesting San Francisco fags. She is “taking their San Francisco money, and pushing their San Francisco values,” while ignorant gay judges in California turn a blind [...]
