texas
Haha, what do gigantic bloodthirsty oil companies love more than gazillions of dollars in tax breaks? Gazillions of dollars in tax breaks that children must pay for, with their lunch money dimes and schoolbooks and sad faces. The Texas Commission on Environmental Quality (which sounds about as real as a Texas Commission on Banning Jesus) [...]
Noted anti-Mexican group “ALIPAC” (which means “No Mexicans” in Spanish) has distributed this video clip proving that haughty Texan country-club waiter Rick Perry will never be the Republican nominee because he just loves giving money to Mexicans too much: They booed him for this! It’s almost like he was a gay soldier or something, the [...]
Dim caricature human Rick Perry is such an obvious sleazeball that the entire country is convinced that somewhere, somehow, there is some gross sex Rick Perry sex scandal waiting like a pile of turd-colored diamonds at the bottom of a cave for some lucky miner willing to “go there” and unearth this disgusting information. Porn [...]
There is that saying, about imitation and flattery and whatever, but all we know is that here is another insane campaign commercial starring a bunch of demon creatures, not unlike the beloved Demon Sheep of Carly Fiorina, circa 2010. This strange video does not really come close to being that terrifying, but it is still [...]
Texas pays a cushy full-time salary to a sociopathic weirdo who wears a shellacked feather boa toupee around on his head all the time to make sure Texas executes as many of its citizens as possible, and normally this guy, Rick Perry, he is the best state murder party planner in the country. NOT TODAY! [...]
Dr. Ron Paul’s portion of the Internet is goin’ nutz over the rumored grab-ass Rick Perry was trying to strong-arm Doctor Congressman Paul with, during the Reagan Gravesite Debate. Why is Rick Perry such a violent psychopath? Does he just hate freedom so much that he went over and tried to beat up a whiny [...]
Hahaha, the “Rick Perry is some kind of gay pervert Democrat” meme is alive and well at the animation studios of NMA.TV.
Did Rick Perry exist before he surfed a wave of sucky GOP presidential-field moping to the national stage in August 2011? Did anything exist before 2011? The science is still out on that one (science is a liberal conspiracy), but that has not stopped the Internet from wondering, “how will Rick Perry perform in a [...]
According to sources within every other GOP candidate’s campaign, Rick Perry is a liberal queer who loves Al Gore, Hillarycare, Hillary Clinton, Obamacare and federal welfare money handouts for the Texas wildfires he deliberately started, for the cause of Mexican socialism. So it’s no surprise that the pothead hobbits who support Ron Paul are launching [...]
Some teabagger Republicans in the Texas legislature noticed on Newsmax or whatever that Texas is currently on fire, the whole state. And then they heard something about firefighters apparently trying to fight these catastrophic fires, which is communistic, so the Texas Forest Service will have its current low budget slashed by another third — $34 [...]
Texas is facing a few challenges right now — incredible plagues of drought and fire and horror that could make even a liberal yankee atheist wonder if an Old Testament God had been awakened from its watery grave deep beneath the Gulf of Mexico. But narratives don’t exactly change overnight, which is why some school [...]
It is not news that Future Sheriff-in-Chief Rick Perry enjoys murdering Mexicans, for sport. That is why Michele Bachmann is probably having a shame-based pill binge, right this very minute, while watching her already-questionable relevance get flushed further and further down the State Fair Porta-Johns. But Rick Perry knows that in order to win 2012, [...]
Reports about Rick Perry’s secret libtard leanings are swirling in over the flood walls these days, almost as fast as those “Rick Perry is gay” rumors used to knock down our doors before “everyone” was apparently required to stop calling him a closeted homosexual and seriously discuss his asinine policy positions super seriously in case [...]
A secret plan by the New World Order to kill off America’s most dangerous people, the Texans, is moving forward as an actual law now that the Texas House of Representatives has approved an 85mph speed limit in the nation’s second most populous state. Cloaked experts from the Council of Malthusian Relations announced from their [...]
