texas
A secret plan by the New World Order to kill off America’s most dangerous people, the Texans, is moving forward as an actual law now that the Texas House of Representatives has approved an 85mph speed limit in the nation’s second most populous state. Cloaked experts from the Council of Malthusian Relations announced from their [...]
How is the “death industry” doing these days? That whole funeral home, flowers, Jell-O-and-ham potluck, casket and cemetery plot thing that Americans used to do when there were still a few crumpled dollar bills left in the “rainy day jar” for a dignified burial? No, we mean that “other” death industry, the one where Rick [...]
If you can get past the fact that GOP Texas congressional candidate Roger Williams is trying to talk patriotism into a horde of dim, braying livestock animals as though they were godless socialist human welfare recipients, this campaign ad is rather fun. Who doesn’t love stupid donkey videos?? The staggering quantity of boring, hack political [...]
Every day is Christmas for Future President Cowboy Rick Perry. This is partially because that is the law down in Texas, where as much as they want to “teach Creationism” to their children, they are cursed with the burden of also including some facts about science, even though all the miniature Rick Perrys find it [...]
Criminal mortgage-fraud syndicate Bank of America announced today that it’s laying off another 10,000 workers. Also, BofA has been caught employing a military contractor to conduct “cyber war” against business journalists reporting on Bank of America’s constant crimes. What else has BofA been up to, other than having a 50% plunge in stock value this [...]
Rick Perry is some kind of creep, that much is known by simply looking at a picture of him. But there are RUMORS that Rick Perry truly lives up to his obvious creepiness factor, because it is known that he also spends a lot of money at “drag queen nightclubs,” at Key West homosexual resorts, [...]
Narcissistic bozo drag queen Rick Perry is officially running for President of Are You Fucking Serious? here in this great nation of ours that has been “out of ideas” about who to put in the White House since 1980, an exciting decision that gives the green light to media outlets everywhere to examine just how [...]
Oh look, gossip website Politico is piddling itself with excitement over the tragic/predictable news that Rick Perry is “definitely totally” super almost officially about to run for this “President of the Damned” job that replaced the POTUS job title at some point during market trading today. This is basically the exact same headline we have [...]
Rick Perry and his gang of 30,000 sweaty, tearful homophobes spent Saturday singing and rolling around on the floor and eating pig anus sausages and nachos in a football stadium, so America is now “cleansed” according to its usual ritual standards. Was there *enough* hating of the gays and abortion doctors for God to finally [...]
“God’s favorite candidate” Rick Perry is apparently not “everyone else’s favorite candidate” to throw a fringe right-wing Biblehumper block party, as it turns out: only 8,000 tragic souls have signed up for Perry’s “The Response” rally on Saturday, which is mathematically many less than the 71,000 or so people that fit in the gigantic football [...]
The concept of a flunkwad loser college student running for president of Texas and later the entire nation is not a new one in America, so when we heard that there is some story about how Rick Perry was also a giant underachieving goof-off during his undergraduate years, we figured we’d probably just copy-paste some [...]
