• February 12, 2012

texting

Oh no. This is like an effeminite kid telling YouTube not to call him gay. Look what everybody did on Twitter! We upset Chuck Grassley. No, the Twitter character limit is not 120, it’s 140. And no, it’s not explained why Grassley needs to shorten the word “about” here when his message is less than [...]

Jesus, first the defense industry loses Joe Lieberman, and now the pedophile-castration industry suffers this? A mobile phone application which claims to identify adults posing as children is to be released. The team behind Child Defence says the app can analyse language to generate an age profile, identifying potential paedophiles. [...] Child campaigning charity NSPCC [...]

The empty Saturnalia of Christmas has come and gone again, so it’s time for pollsters to ask depressed Americans if religion is still important. About half say, “I guess, to me, a little.” But 70% admit that their sad devotion to that ancient religion doesn’t really matter, as the actual influence of traditional religion on [...]

Stop cyberbullying Chris Dodd, Twitter. [Malkin]

You know what else can happen in two seconds? FALLING HOPELESSLY IN LOVE WITH YOUR NEW CRUSH RAY LAHOOD. *kawaii* (。◕‿‿◕。) Yes, Secretary of Transportation Ray LaHood hates teens sexting when they’re driving cars, so he is doing things like sponsoring this viral video CHALLENGE and going to popular teen hangout the Illinois State Fair [...]

Bart Stupak voted for mandatory abortions and now he is going to retire, like an enormous yellow belly? Textbook case cut-and-run. [RedState] Holy crap, Andrew Sullivan taught a Roomba how to fold his undergarments! [The Daily Dish] Barack Obama wants NASCAR to convince teenage hicks that texting whilst driving is dangerous and stupid — two [...]

By the Comics CurmudgeonAh, the good ol’ days! They were much better than our current existence, did you know that? Like, it was illegal for the President to be a Socialist! And also, people didn’t just filibuster things all the time, because they knew it was a douchebag move, so they saved it for really [...]

Wonkette’s associate editor — me! — has received his text message from Barack Obama before anyone else and can exclusively report that Minnesota’s Walter Mondale, who may or may not be alive, will become America’s second black vice president. WHERE IZ MY REPORTIN ACCOLADES BABY? Wait… Walter Mondale? Oh. Oh fuck you, Layne.

Things haven’t gotten much better since we last checked in on Kwame Kilpatrick, the comical mayor of Detroit and a leading contender for Barack Obama’s black vice presidency. You may recall that his “woes” include bangin’ his chief of staff — the gal he seduced by texting racy notes about “Benz Chili Bowl” — and [...]