the gays
On Monday, Tennessee’s state House passed a bill to ban local laws that protect gay citizens from discrimination after the cesspool that is Nashville decided it would start considering gay people human beings of all things. (GAYS ARE A TYPE OF PLANT LIFE, NASHVILLE.) This is a fairly proactive approach to quelling equality before it [...]
The 2012 Republican presidential field’s favorite Jesus-band radio host, the American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer, routinely professes to the world how disgusting gay people are, just in case people forgot and briefly thought he may enjoy penises being inserted into his rectum. But this latest column is a bit of a departure. He leads off [...]
Performing a nationwide genocide of American fat children can get tiring after a while, because there are just so many of them, and so many things keeping them alive. With this in mind, our FLOTUS has taken a break from broccoli-boarding 4th graders to focus on something equally depressing: the struggles of military families! This [...]
Staring abyss Michele Bachmann appeared before Iowa social conservative group FAMiLY Leader, whose leader apparently once said, “If we’re teaching the kids, ‘don’t smoke, because that’s a risky health style,’ the same can be true of the homosexual lifestyle. That’s why I think we need to speak the truth once in a while.” So Think [...]
“Fourteen years ago the Montana Supreme Court ruled that a state law criminalizing gay sex violates Montana’s constitution, yet the Montana Legislature has repeatedly failed to scrub the language, which places homosexuality in the same legal category as bestiality, from the books.” Too busy trying to legalize drunk driving? No, Montana’s legislators just hate gay [...]
The mentally ill are such ideal teevee guests, aren’t they? Oh, good thing she brought that book along to show in case we wanted to buy one. Hadn’t heard of it. WAIT A SECOND, WHAT’S THAT ON HER PALM? Does that say “NH”? As in New Hampshire? Oh God, this woman is running for president. [...]
Rick Santorum is a half-been loser, but because he was once a U.S. senator, he is allowed to run for president of the United States and be taken somewhat seriously. Unfortunately for Santorum, he’s not even very popular these days with the conservative base, who once loved him but have since morphed into prickly Teabaggers. [...]
There are no pressing issues in Colorado, so the state Senate is hearing public testimony regarding “civil unions” (butt sex). That’s why this scary old lady from the “Eagle Forum” decided to lecture lawmakers on the proper use of the anus and the sphincter — and by “proper,” she definitely does not mean she’d like [...]
Rev. Grant Storms is apparently well known in New Orleans for wearing stupid Bible-American-flag t-shirts, donning ridiculous 1980s pedophile/hipster glasses, and walking through Southern Decadence, the city’s annual gay festival, with a broom. Apparently, though, he does not do this during the city’s annual boob festival, Mardi Gras, so it’s the gays he has a [...]
Aww, look who’s still pretending to be a serious human being with serious thoughts on world affairs! “I live in New York. New York is a place with lots of gays. And I think it’s great. But I’m not in favor of gay marriage.” Hey, he’s fine with gay people! Some of his best people [...]
It is interesting that in a few short years, a very large state legalizing civil unions is now minor news. Anyway, here is phantom-eyed new Illinois resident Rahm Emanuel at the gay after-party, pictured with friend Unsettling Sentient Orb of Pure Energy, celebrating his new state’s basic human decency, via Wonkette operative “Gregg K.”
