the internet
So there’s this Internet forum for police officers called “Officer.com,” and you supposedly have to be a police officer to register for the site. (How do the administrators prove this? Probably by making sure the registration application has enough spelling errors and grammar disasters and obvious disregard for following the law.) And these alleged police [...]
Last night on Glenn Beck’s sickly teevee show, the profitable conspiracy theorist host made a simple plea: for the government to release its photos of Osama bin Laden’s corpse. Glenn would like to see it. And his argument was that the photos can’t be all that gruesome, because most Americans have seen The Godfather and [...]
The pocket pinball-playin’ elitists from the Soros blogosphere claim that Christine O’Donnell’s fancy website has no content, just a little button for donating your life savings to her brave campaign. Wrong! There’s plenty of content, you just need to “screen capture” it before it is deleted.
Facebook is basically ruining every single marriage, because it’s impossible to just be friends with someone on the internet — inevitably you always end up fingerbanging them (or “poking” them). You have 500 Facebook friends, you say? Well that’s 500 fingerbangs! Repent, adulterous slimeball: We all know how the story goes: Boy meets girl. Boy [...]
Oh for Pete’s sake! Merriam-Webster’s Word of the Summer is Sarah Palin’s merciless assault on the Queen’s English, “refudiate,” and only because refudiate has been the most searched-for non-word on its Internet website since the fateful day William Kristol declared it a miracle of profound conservative wordsmithery. Is the volume of Internet searches the only [...]
A giant racist Tea Bagger shadow has been cast over Middle-Earth (continental United States). And every day this racism grows, because nobody is strong enough to stand up and say, “Stop being racist,” and also Americans are too fat to stand up. And so, races from all corners of the liberal blogosphere have answered the [...]
OMG you guys, this is more awesome than a Night Ranger/Styx double-bill: According to the teabagging fetishist website Ensuring Liberty, “rock star” Congressvixen Michele Bachmann will be performing LIVE and IN CONCERT at a virtual town hall meeting tonight at 8 PM EST, with fellow Congressional “rock star” Steve King as her opening act. Real [...]
South Korea was a simple place, a happy place. Then South Korea was introduced to the Internet, and also Starcraft. And now South Korean people want to kill themselves. [Matt Yglesias] John McCain does not want to be called a trail-blazin’ maverick: “The Spirit of America” will suit him just fine, thank you. [Think Progress] [...]
DRUNK STUDENT ON INTERNET SEEKS GIRLS: How does a brooding 20-year-old drunken college student on the Internet finally leave the dorm and get laid? Your editor’s answer may disgust you! [True/Slant]
Tucker Carlson’s fabled journalism Internet is finally getting published on Monday! “The Daily Caller” is going to be like Huffington Post – Alec Baldwin + Tucker Carlson x Tucker Carlson. How much news will it contain? Millions of news! Carlson can afford to buy all the journalism, thanks to the ace PowerPoints of his business [...]
Ten lawsuits—or the equivalent thereof in free BoA customer education PowerPoints—for operative “Lauren P.” [HuffPost but it's already ruined]
