• February 12, 2012

the mall

It’s here, the special long summer weekend when we pretend to love America and forget about the pesky wars — except for the War of Independence against British Petroleum — and constant disasters such as oil spills and other government failures. Although, courtesy of the World Cup, America has already been exalted four times already [...]

The January 20 four-million Obamatard march, otherwise known as “Inauguration Day,” will combine the fun of being stranded outside during an ice storm with the excitement of being killed by the homeless or maybe the Army as Barack Obama is safely sworn in at a secure, warm location with plenty of fancy food and cocktails. [...]