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It’s the last day of summer, everybody! Technically, anyway. Summer has been extended by a few years for many parts of the United States, especially Texas. But you know what else is important about this day before the Autumn Equinox? It’s the birthday of fictional hobbit celebrities Bilbo Baggins and Frodo Baggins, both born on [...]
Herman Cain knows how to turn America into a vast nation of slobs who eat shitty take-out pizza (paid for with Social Security disability checks and Food Stamps) seven times a week. Why won’t Republicans make him the new president? Well for one thing, Herman Cain has a gang of radical homosexuals running his campaign. [...]
Hello fiends! Your editor is back tonight to do some hot Reagan Death Zombie liveblogging, and your other editor will be here later to take over, and if there was EVER a week to come back to Wonkette and “mind the gap” or whatever, this is a very bad one indeed. TONIGHT: Eight sociopaths suffering [...]
America’s favorite existential vacuum the state of Arizona is back in the news this week, just like every week, with some acutely awful new first-of-its-kind state law requiring state prison visitors to pay a $25 “background check fee” in order to be allowed admission to see their loved ones in jail. Oh, hey, we notice that [...]
Some teabagger Republicans in the Texas legislature noticed on Newsmax or whatever that Texas is currently on fire, the whole state. And then they heard something about firefighters apparently trying to fight these catastrophic fires, which is communistic, so the Texas Forest Service will have its current low budget slashed by another third — $34 [...]
Lunatic pill-head Michele Bachmann’s veteran campaign manager Ed Rollins is stepping down for “health reasons,” and, he added, “it’s a Romney-Perry race” is the name of his illness. We hear you, Ed Rollins, that is a tough disease to battle on campaign hours, seven days a week, with only the “hope” of certain death at [...]
Weeks before his nomination to the Supreme Court by Richard Nixon, corporate tobacco lawyer and right-wing business extremist Lewis F. Powell took a break from golf and his boardroom duties at 11 of America’s biggest corporations to write a manifesto against the then-vibrant American left. His detailed plan, delivered in the form of a memo [...]
Ultra-rich old troll Harvey Golub threw his diamond-encrusted Depends around in a fit on the Wall Street Journal opinion pages after he read Warren Buffett’s recent NYTimes op-ed asking the government to raise taxes on the super wealthy, which sounds like “napalm on ur testicles” to an arch-conservative like Golub. Why pay more taxes when you can [...]
Rick Perry is some kind of creep, that much is known by simply looking at a picture of him. But there are RUMORS that Rick Perry truly lives up to his obvious creepiness factor, because it is known that he also spends a lot of money at “drag queen nightclubs,” at Key West homosexual resorts, [...]
Someone is a little late to this party, hmm? Staff sergeant Moran (his real name, for real, real as they come) heard a totally wicked story “from some guy” that President Obama is a godless robot with a fake human birth certificate. QRAZY, RIGHT? Sergeant Moran is just as freaked out as everyone else, and [...]
It is possible that if we too had billions of dollars, we might set fire to a few million of it every day for fun and “good form” or however it is appropriate to celebrate exorbitant wealth these days, but eccentric Silicon Valley tycoon Peter Thiel will do everybody one better and use a little [...]
What does America’s most prolific maniac executioner Rick Perry want to axe murder today? “Every single federal regulation, and everyone else, and Ben Bernanke” is his top pick. Perry told a radio interviewer in Iowa that he wants President Obama to “put a moratorium on regulations across this country” for whatever reason that food poisoning, [...]
FBI Raids Computers of Koch-Monster Scott Walker’s Henchwoman
by Ken Layne
Another of Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker’s propagandists on the public payroll had her home and computers raided by the FBI and state police, on Wednesday. The “former top aide,” Cynthia A. Archer, is currently on “paid sick leave” but had been the deputy chief of Walker’s comically corrupt administration. What did all the G-men want [...]