trash
It’s morning in America, for reals this time! The United States has finally honored its favorite sanitation robot that toiled for 800 years cleaning up the Earth after fat slob humans trashed the whole place. That’s right, WALL-E is now on a postage stamp, so that very old people who still pay bills with stamps [...]
Washington novels are terrible, as you maybe noticed if you’ve ever mistakenly picked up a novel about Washington. Christopher Hitchens has some theories: Can one imagine a Dickens without London or a Zola or Flaubert without Paris? The radix malorum can probably be found in the famous bargain between Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton, made [...]
Gross old liebot John McCain, whose entire head is made of skin cancer and bullshit, is having a very important policy discussion with “Snooki,” a bright orange dwarf who appeared on a chilling documentary about emotionally challenged adolescents left alone in a tacky vacation house to die of STDs. John McCain won’t tax you for [...]
It’s so great that Charlie Sheen is finally getting a platform of his own, you guys! Let’s see, what else…
This sure is queer. Sarah Palin has announced that she will speak at the upcoming National Tea Party Convention but will not speak at or even attend its sudden rival, CPAC. You could argue that it’s because the older, more established CPAC will probably not be quite as insane a “National Tea Party Convention,” but [...]
Ah, Sturgis … it’s like the “Gathering of the Juggalos” for middle-aged people who saved up enough for a Gold Wing! And the $100-million McCain family just adores acting like they love this dumb populist cretin crap, because, after all, the McCains have those riches only because Cindy’s dad actually worked for a living, selling [...]
This is going to go on forever — and eventually, it will involve the female participants wrestling in a vat of Taco Bell X-treme ketchup or whatever. Hooray! Now, lest you believe this is somehow “trivial” or “exactly what happens in much of America,” we want to remind you that this woman, Sarah Palin, intends [...]
How deeply must you despise your former running mate — the person you wanted America to accept as a perfectly good and safe president-in-waiting, just a few months ago — to be unable to fake a quick “Sure I support her” on a Sunday news-chat show? Here’s Old Walnuts McCain utterly unable to answer a [...]
As the snow-meth icing on the Baked Alaska of Sarah Palin’s hilarious public self-destruction which is also hilariously destroying the the grisly remaining blood-and-gristle bits of the Republican Party, here is how ABC News describes her exit from the McCain Failure Party, where she was not allowed to speak: “And when McCain and Palin split [...]
Here’s something fun to look forward to, this Friday, other than the End of Capitalism and Electricity or whatever: There’s going to be a fun report on that legal investigation into Sarah Palin’s “abuse of power” in Alaska, when she fired all her sister’s rape victims or something. Troopergate! Nobody knows what it’s about, other [...]
We interrupt your Fourth of July with some Breaking News: Jesse Helms was apparently still alive, and now he’s dead, hooray! He was a sour troll and a bigot, and it’s a testament to every rotten thing about this country that for a quarter century, he was one of the most powerful people in American [...]
