The Onion put out a series of “breaking news” tweets narrating an escalating Capitol Hill hostage situation perpetrated by Republican members of Congress (GET IT??), which the Capitol Police decided to treat as actionable cause for TOTAL PANIC because “satire” is not covered in the police training manual. Hooray, Earth is now sentenced to have [...]
The Napoleonic legal theory of “guilty until proven innocent, suckers” won a major victory for racism in the United States legal system last night with the execution of Troy Davis, a black man from Georgia convicted of the murder of a white police officer 22 years ago and sentenced to death under deeply dubious circumstances [...]
Welcome to the seventh dimension, humans: even Satan’s pet horned toad Rush Limbaugh thinks Michele Bachmann’s ludicrous claim that the Gardasil HPV vaccine causes girls to “suffer mental retardation” is off-the-reservation insane.
Isn’t Twitter just the best? Thank Allah for Twitter, teabagger Rep. Paul Broun will not have to sit through Barack Obama’s filthy jobs speech in front of Congress. Instead, Broun will be obligated to keep his tradition of hiding in his wicked Washington opium cave during Obama’s important addresses so that he can bark mangled opinions [...]
We have no idea what kind of spell Christine O’Donnell is trying to put on Twitter, but it looks like a pretty mean one.[Twitter]
2 many hawt pixxx of naked gay Scott Brown on Twitter whut??!!?! NO, boo, it’s just some story about one of naked Scott Brown’s dumb aides doing something dumb and very much NOT naked Scott Brown on Twitter. Scott Brown (and Mitt Romney!) aide Eric Fehrnstrom got caught using a fake Twitter account to impersonate the [...]
Jonathan Alter singlehandedly launched fat goblin Chris Christie’s much-awaited fictional presidential bid today, on Twitter, discussed it with himself a while, un-launched it, and then clarified that he only wishes Chris Christie were running for president. Or at least that is what someone told us this says, because we still do not speak Twit. Remember [...]
Bloated elephant furry Newt Gingrich is coasting on fumes at this point. His flabby presidential candidacy is a worn-out joke, his campaign is over $1 million in debt, and he is still consistently polling several points below “none/no one” among likely GOP voters. Is there anywhere that the Newtron implosion still shines? Oh, right. Twitter! [...]
Political “news” these days is now mostly just whatever clever/bizarre/idiot thing ends up on the Twitter after a bored Washington aide takes another dump over a computer keyboard and a few of the keys including the “enter” button somehow get pressed, so let’s check in to see where that’s getting us as a nation: oh [...]
Evangelical megachurch pastor Rick Warren, whom you may remember as the official evangelical homophobe schlub selected to give the invocation at Obama’s inauguration, thought fit to weigh in on the debt ceiling debate. How does Jesus feel about taxes, Rick?
Some terribly unfortunate students at the University of Michigan had to spend a semester scratching their eyes out in front of a screen, counting the millions of times Tea Party people have taken creative license with the English language and coughed up a mauled, dismembered sentence in 140 characters or less. You will probably not [...]
“Tea Party Presidential Twitter debate” sounds like a) a terrible orgy of hollering wingnuts furiously flinging spelling errors around at each other like the clap going around a trailer park or b) something worthy of contenders for our nation’s highest office? The Tea Party candidates are going to show half-assed Twitter clown Barack Obama “how [...]
Teen sensation Newt Gingrich has just won something called a “Twitter primary,” which is a presidential race that only exists on Twitter, but doesn’t really exist at all. So congratulations, Newt Gingrich, for being President of Twitter, which is not a real thing. How did Newton achieve this incredible victory, when he is so completely [...]
