“Tea Party Presidential Twitter debate” sounds like a) a terrible orgy of hollering wingnuts furiously flinging spelling errors around at each other like the clap going around a trailer park or b) something worthy of contenders for our nation’s highest office? The Tea Party candidates are going to show half-assed Twitter clown Barack Obama “how [...]
Teen sensation Newt Gingrich has just won something called a “Twitter primary,” which is a presidential race that only exists on Twitter, but doesn’t really exist at all. So congratulations, Newt Gingrich, for being President of Twitter, which is not a real thing. How did Newton achieve this incredible victory, when he is so completely [...]
Were you celebrating Independence Day with your beers and your Uncle Sam hat and your special string of obscenities you only get to use when you pull out your aging Earth-destroying charcoal barbecue? Then you are like us in that way, ignorant until recently that it is actually WAR ON FOX NEWS JRNALIZM DAY because [...]
Anthony Weiner was a prominent weiner who was always on cable teevee with the Democratic Talking Points, so when he repeatedly sexted his boner to every gal on Twitter, he had to resign. But Republicans never resign for this kind of thing, which is why some Republican jerkwad city councilman in Louisiana who cheats on [...]
Anthony Weiner is crazy for girls and crazy for Twitter, two things that do not go well together, especially when you’re a married congressman who can’t stop taking pictures of your dick and sending them to the entire Internet. So, after who knows how many weeks of Weinergate, Anthony Weiner is resigning from Congress. We’re [...]
Important fundamentalist Baptist official Albert Mohler has some unsolicited advice for Anthony Weiner: Why not worship the real god, Jesus, instead of that Jew god you claim to love so much. It’s a good point! Fundamentalist Christian guys almost never send Twitter pictures of their genitals to women, because most fundamentalist Christian men are homosexuals. [...]
Have you heard the hot news about Anthony Weiner and the never-ending dick joke that is now the entire life of this once-promising congressman — or should we say dongressman? — and how he will go to “rehab” to stop loving the young womens on Twitter? Yes, the liberal pinup Democrat who loved to go [...]
Have you heard about the website that combines the two worst things, Congress and Twitter? It is called “TweetCongress.org,” which is dumb, and this website found that congressional use of Twitter has declined 28% in the terrible week since Weinergate started, because Congress is full of olds who now worry that the Twitter is going [...]
Here is a nice, positive “unemployed wingnuts with internet access” story for once. The NYTimes reported that a mysterious team of conservative Twitter Batmans used an extensive amount of free time to closely monitor Anthony Weiner’s Twitter follows (we don’t know what that means) to discover that the exhibitionist Fruit of the Loom spokesbulge was [...]
Well, we didn’t see this coming at all: The chairman of the Republican National Committee on Tuesday called for Rep. Anthony Weiner to resign from Congress, saying no investigation was necessary “to know he lied and acted inappropriately.” Following Weiner’s dramatic news conference Monday afternoon, during which he admitted to sending explicit online communications to [...]
Reality-television curiosity Sarah Palin has a crazy spokesperson who can’t seem to shut up on Twitter. That’s fine when you’re attacking the liberal elite, but it’s not so fine when the person paid to promote the Palin basic-cable brand is instead verbally attacking one of the actual Palins who makes basic-cable programs. This is what [...]
