unemployment
Texas Governor Rick Perry has declared he can’t solve the state’s problems, so from now on official government policy is “pray, everybody.” Perry is holding a day of fasting and prayer called “The Response” at a sports stadium in Houston on August 6th, which everyone can now consider the “effective date” for God’s taking over [...]
At the rate of last month’s dismal job creation, it will take more than 15 years for America to replace the 7 million jobs that vanished in this Great Recession. The awful new job numbers — just 38,000 in May when economists say the country needs at least 244,000 new jobs per month if the [...]
Good news, hamburglars! Industrial cow-parts processor “McDonaldland Corporation” will hire 50,000 of the nation’s 24,300,000 million officially unemployed, “involuntary part-time” and “discouraged” workers. Just show up at your local McDonald’s (or the other one, at the next offramp) on April 19 and you may be one of the lucky .002% of unwanted American laborers to [...]
When all your state’s remaining residents are forced to rely on unemployment benefits, that’s pretty much the only thing keeping the economy afloat. But Michigan Governor Rick Snyder doesn’t care. He signed a law that on the surface seems like it was just written to allow residents to collect benefits extended by the federal government, [...]
As America and the Entire Industrialized World dips into the second act of our 21st Century Greatest Depression, workers and employers are developing new skills to cope with the complete lack of money. In the Los Angeles City Attorney’s office, for example, about a hundred actual qualified lawyers have worked in the “reserve” program, meaning [...]
Florida has 11.9% unemployment and a statehouse full of wingnuts. What to do? Slash unemployment benefits to a maximum of 20 weeks and cap them at $275 per week. Bloomberg reports: Florida’s Republican-controlled House passed a bill curbing unemployment benefits as the state announced its jobless rate remained above 11 percent for the 15th consecutive [...]
Job growth soared ahead and the unemployment rate fell in February, as the economy gained momentum and people who had been stuck at home because of January snow returned to work. Fucking snow taking all our jobs. GO BACK TO CANADA, ILLEGAL. WE DON’T WANT YOU HERE. Employers added 192,000 jobs in February, the Labor [...]
Good news for the U.S. job market: The unemployment rate miraculously dropped from 9.8% to 9.4% in December, the biggest one-month drop in the official jobless rate since 1998! Coincidentally, this plunge in the number of Americans desperately seeking work coincides with more Americans dropping out of the labor force entirely, because there aren’t even [...]
Hark! What’s that sound on the rooftop? Could it be sleigh bells? No, it’s the nation’s unemployment rate, here to bring us holiday cheer! The festive unemployment rate has received its “Christmas bonus” — increasing in November to 9.8%, a seven-month high — while only 39,000 new jobs were created. And most of those jobs [...]
While the U.S. economy continues to suck, unemployment holds at a very high level, and employers are cutting salaries and benefits at every turn, one important employer is actually paying 11 times more people $150,000-a-year salaries than it did five years ago. And that employer is the federal government. Good for them! Hey, if your [...]
Are you one of the lucky one-in-eight Americans who would go hungry if not for government-provided debit cards that can be used to buy food? The average monthly benefit is $134, and that’s generally provided in the form of an EBT card that can be used to buy food. JPMorgan provides a lot of those [...]
